So stare and see, that this is me.

Banterbury

2011-10-31T08:15:00.000+08:00

Ahh. After such a huge dilemma, I'm back in Canters afterall.

I love my friends here, they're the bestest anyone could ever ask for and I want to squeeze them until they all burst.

Except this is not home, and it'll never be :(.

Can't wait to step home in Decembah!

Updates from Ohio

2011-08-18T11:23:00.002+08:00

So after 2 years of doing LDR, and with Panty running back and forth to KL, to London, to Kent.. I'm finally in the land of the free!

It's been a while since I've finished school, with nothing better to do than to live the life of an unemployed person. My memory is quite bad though, I forget so many things and very often Panty likes to test me with stupid shit T_T. Like "b when is the first time we went to *insert place*" or "b have we ever dined in *insert restaurant* together?". And so so often I don't remember. I usually get it on my second try though, not too bad, not too bad haha.

In my defense, I have fantastic short term memory wtf. That lasts for about 24 hours. That's my only 'secret' to doing well in school all these years. I am crap in class, I never know how to answer anything when you ask me, I never study until I'm left with the last few days, but I always score in exams. Secret is that everything I write in the last 24 hours I remember, but problem with this plan is when something happens the day before, I AM DEAD.

Anyway, I digress. My blog is such a good place to remember all my thoughts and all the things I've done.

So here goes my life in Ohio.

It is a horrendously boring place, like my boyfriend has cautioned me many many times. But I'm having the time of my life!

I don't question that for the last 5 years of my life, my best times are always with you. If you ask me what's so fantastic about the US, I don't know. I don't know, but all I know is that I'm happy here. And all I know is that, you make me happy.

I can't count the number of times I've laughed until my stomach hurts in the past month, I can't remember how many mornings I wake up with a smile on my face, I also can't remember the number of times I feel like punching you because you are so damn annoying haha.

Right now I'm also supposed to decide the next phase of my life.

There are only two options. To go to the UK to do more of my professional papers (the much easier way), or to stay home where my heart lies in PJ, get a job and self-study my professional papers.

It's no question that I'd pick the latter in a heartbeat. Don't get me wrong, I loved my life in the UK. As much as I whine and complain about needing to go home, UK is great, but home is better. Home is fantastic, home is where everything I want and need is. Home is bliss. I want to be with my family, I want to be with my baby Lexy, I want to be with the love of my life, I want to be with all my darlings.

So I earn a little less, I work a little harder, and it's all going to be shit. But shit with people I love trumps all.

Then I look at the more sensible part and think that after only a year I can resume this love I have for home. Sacrifice a year, and then have a much better future because without professional papers I mean nothing in the working world T_T. Which isn't even that big a sacrifice because I like the UK! Plus life will be so much easier. I get spending money, I don't even think I need to study for 75% of the time there. 15% dedicated to assignments, 10% towards finals, and I'll be done babes!

So right now I'm SO caught in between you have no idea. I have a lot of time to myself these couple of days since Panty has now started studying for his finals (not very successfully, just played a round of Catan with them boys even though they both have a paper tomorrow!!). And when I'm left with my own thoughts this has CONSTANTLY been on my mind. It's so tough *cries.

Anyway I'll update soon with lots of pictures. This is me talking to my potential future self, reminding myself of the life I used to have before say, working? Hahaha which is all going to end soon, I think.

Much loves!

Amazing!!!

2011-06-22T10:53:00.002+08:00

Ok so maybe I'm easily amused, but can you squint and see this tiny little woman in the middle of the sea!!

It's actually cause the water is really shallow, but it still looks soooo cool! Hahaha. FASCINATING!!!

Finally done!

2011-06-08T08:47:00.003+08:00

I haven't been to this space in a long time.

But I've gotta say, I CAN'T BELIEVE I AM FINALLY DONE WITH MY EXAMS!!!

Two months of hell. I never thought I'd ever struggle so much academically. Okay maybe I knew I would. I mean, I like prancing around in little dresses and putting on loads of makeup, people always think I'm stupid T_T.

Except.. Although I'm not exceptionally smart, I've never found school that hard?! I'm used to sleeping through all my classes (the ones I attend wtf, which is less than half), and then slaving for 2-3 days before an exam and still manage an A average. In any mathematical subject I have never scored below a 90th percentile even without trying very hard. So how is it I'm in math school, trying VERY VERY HARD, and feeling like a total failure?!

Anyway, what matters most is that I'm over with this. In exactly a week my results are coming out fml. So what I'm going to do is enjoy this week T_T.

Snippets of me on photobooth during my horrid 2 months. It's what you do when you are in an LDR. Take loads of pictures and send send send!

SLICED MY FINGER OPEN!!!

Doesn't look so bad here but I shall spare you the morbidity!

Right now I'm stuck with some crazy amount of packing. Tee tee wai ell!

Deeeepressing

2011-04-29T06:35:00.002+08:00

I have so many of these drawn on my ipad to motivate myself it's not even funny T_T.

Life these days have been soooo gloomy. Library, eat, library, eat eat, library. F THIS SHIT.

Had a barbeque the other day!

Where I was puking my guts out. What's new, what's new -_-.

Doing things like laying on grass talking and laughing.

Can't say it's something I really enjoy wtf, half the time I was worried about bugs crawling into my ears, I'm just not a nature person. But I liked it more than I thought I would! Haha. Something soothing about just lying there, leaving all your thoughts behind, staring into the skies and talking about absolutely nothing.

But nothing beats doing it with my favourite person in the world.

Mwah!

Sup ma homies!

2011-04-03T06:29:00.002+08:00

Wai mai blog so gloomy.

Teehee.

Even though I don't blog anymore and I'm nowhere near a 'blogger', I like having my blog cause it keeps so many memories. Things I see, things I felt, things I got angry about, things I am happy about.

So to brighten up this place a little bit, here are some pichas to show how chinese I still am!!! HAHAHAHA.

I look like a chipmunk here wtf.

Anyways, the most recent addition to my life to make me more of an apple supporter than I already am, is my ipad!!! Panty got it for me and I've been so attached to it *huggles my ipad.

So pretty!!!

To be completely honest, I don't know why he got it for me. Cause.. I thought ipads were.. overpriced and quite pointless haha.

Panty's dad had one and he never used it for 'work' like he planned to. In fact whenever we followed him on work trips his ipad would be circling between Panty's mom, Panty, and I wtf. The three of us will take turns playing games and beating each other's highscores -_-. And then Tolabola has one and we play her ipad nightly after dinner, slicing fruits and vegetables!

So to me it was just a really expensive gaming console.

Panty insisted there's facetime and all these cool things, and so for a while it was a (really fun!) gaming console and also a fun camera thing! Until I found the beauty of reading on it.

Ahhh it's just so convenient. It's like kindle but better wtf. There are so many useful apps to read (my notes cause exams coming up /sad) and to browse and everything! I LOVE IT!!! I love my ipad!!! It's like the mini laptop I never thought it could be! I even type super quick on it so there's really nothing to not love.

I arranged my 'books'. This is only halfway through, my 'bookshelf' is very full now zzzz -_-.

Okay I'm really tired now /meh. Nightey poo!

2011-04-01T07:44:00.002+08:00

It's been a while since I thought about blogging, but I think I feel this need to come back to this little place every once in a while.

I've been beyond stressed out this week.

Panty came over last week to fill my life with more love than ever. It's nice to be able to care for each other in the same place. Distance has been my enemy for a long time now and it will be until the very end of it. It's the reason why I don't actually feel like I am in a normal relationship. Not until I can say I've survived my ldr, because at this point, who knows what will happen since we are apart?

It's not that I'm horrendously pessimistic or anything like it. I think I've just learnt to live life day by day.

Panty is amazing to me. He has been for the last 5 years of my life. He has been and is the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I thank my lucky stars I found him in my life.

And 5 years is a long time. But if he does something that made me gravely upset? Do I stick around because it's been 5 years? Most likely not. I never understood complicated relationships or ones where you sacrifice your life because you 'love somebody'.

My goodness. If your boyfriend is a flirt and it makes you unhappy, leave him. If your boyfriend texts other girls behind your back and you find out, leave him. If your boyfriend scolds you everytime he's stressed out, leave him. If your boyfriend controls your life to the point you're unhappy, leave him. Bottom line is, if you're unhappy more than you're happy, LEAVE babes.

Unless you're 40 years old and married with 3 kids, what do you have to lose in your twenties?

There are just too many shit things happening around me these days, and I just want to shake all these people up and say that life will go on. It always will!!

Anyway, I digress.

It was a really last minute decision to attend the career fair in London last weekend. Of course I was a dunggu that printed only ONE proper resume, the other 3 had mistakes lolol. I don't know when I want to start working or what I want to be when I do start working, so I dropped my CV at only two places.

I dropped my proper one at a consulting firm I thought was interesting to join. And I dropped one with a mistake at a bank only because it was a really high paying job.

I was gravely unprepared for both interviews. Mainly cause I wasn't even sure if I really wanted either job, and it's quite difficult to fake passion. On the way to my interviews on the train alone, I spent 90% of the time on my ipad playing plants vs zombies, the other 10% on my phone checking twitter and fb.

I didn't even have proper working clothes on. I couldn't stress enough how insanely underdressed I was to both interviews, only because in banks and huge firms everybody was dressed to the dot. Blazers and ties with a laptop bag, pumps and knee length skirts. There I was prancing around in my short skirt and pink coat -_-.

Strange about job interviews, I read online you are always supposed to be very serious and relate everything to something proud you have. But as I'm a horrible liar I went through my interviews like.. a bimbo.

I took too long to think of something smart/exaggerated that I just thought, aih might as well talk about something I know like "shopping/favourite actor/diving/pink" than something really clever that I don't know about. At the end of it I thought, fuckkk this is all stupid shit.

And at the end of it I breezed through both interviews. Besides this one hiccup with the senior asking me about banking and I froze O.O What is investment banking? My answer was uhhhh something different from retail banking *shifty eyes*. Still got the banking job though. How? I have no fricking idea.

Today I went for dinner with a potential future employer, and the 'most lasting impression' I left was all of them picturing me on a four wheeled bike T_T. Just because I couldn't ride a bicycle wtf.

Sigh. Anyway. I have 5 assessments due next week.

FIVE.

How many have I started? Nada.

Say hello to little sleep and many stress.

Bye babes!

2011-03-14T01:24:00.003+08:00

It's your birthday tomorrow.

And if I could, I would, have been there every single time. I wish my fears and doubts didn't keep me from you.

I was young and naive and before I had the chance to grow out of it, it's too late. It's too late.

And nothing hurts more.

2011-02-19T23:12:00.003+08:00

I grew up never needing to prove myself to the world. My daddy and mummy thought I was the greatest thing regardless of how I screw up, and that's how I come to peace with myself. Sure, I still grew up bratty because I was baby of the family for so many years, but my sister taught me selfless love, and that's why I will always have the most respect for her.

I grew up with a best friend who thought the world of me, and even though things will never be the same, I had the best childhood with him. I grew up loved.

I found a soulmate when I was 16 that knows me too well, that despite my flaws still choose to love me and let me love her back!

And then at 17 I found the love of my life, who before I loved, already loved me for everything that I am, for all my goods and all my bads. Before I fell in love, you already gave me your world. And when I fell in love, you became my world.

Through years and years I also have best friends who always listens, never judges and loves me exactly for how I am. To be honest I don't know what it's like backstabbing and being competitive. Because I never needed to be.

I don't have a lot of friends, but it's only because the ones I choose to keep, I love to death. I don't have 'complicated' friendships or relationships. If I love you, then I love you.

And I never needed to show I'm great or shout for attention.

And sometimes, just sometimes, when I'm thrown into this new world here, I'm lost because all these people I need in my life are not here with me. When people I like here are putting me down, what do I do? Run to skype or whatsapp for reassurance? I'm not used to making people feel shit about themselves and see who gets the last say at the end of the day.

And I don't want to become that person.

I'm counting the seconds!

2011-02-03T10:19:00.000+08:00

Until I hold you again my darling!

I'm going home!!!

2011-01-27T04:38:00.001+08:00

Booked my flight this afternoon to go home for Chinese New Year!!!

Took a lot of guts to blurt the idea out to my parents, thank God they are quite supportive!!! Although very hesitant because I'd be missing like a million classes hahah.

But well worth it I'd say!!!

Practiced my lalaness (just kidding I haven't lost touch), so bring on Malaysiaaaa!!!

I can't wait!!!

2011-01-20T11:25:00.006+08:00

I can see the pain living in your eyes
And I know how hard you try
You deserve to have much more
I can feel your heart and I sympathize
And I'll never criticize
All you've ever meant to my life

I don't want to let you down
I don't want to lead you on
I don't want to hold you back
From where you might belong

You would never ask me why
My heart is so disguised
I just can't live a lie anymore
I would rather hurt myself
Than to ever make you cry
There's nothing left to say but goodbye

You deserve the chance at the kind of love
I'm not sure I'm worthy of
Losing you is painful to me

You would never ask me why
My heart is so disguised
I just can't live a lie anymore
I would rather hurt myself
Than to ever make you cry
There's nothing left to try
Though it's gonna hurt us both
There's no other way than to say goodbye

Back to school

2011-01-17T07:23:00.003+08:00

So tomorrow I'm heading back to class.

Yeah, my blogging streak didn't last very long hahahha but I think I'd still try to blog. I've just been so busy! My darling Jojo is finally back here. Today she woke me up at 9am FML to go to the market. Zoe and I were zombies trailing behind her as she chirpily tried to get us in the mood. I mean, really. 9am on a Sunday?! Things I do for this girl haha.

I also made oreo truffles today!!!

Nobody helped me because... everyone wanted to see me screw up T_T.

Hahah okay no, they just wanted to see if I was capable of finally baking on my own.

I always bake with somebody so I've never done anything by myself and usually I'm not the main person anyway!!!

I did everything by myself aside from mixing them into this.. colour? I stirred for like 5 minutes and it didn't look very proper. Zoe stirred for like 15 seconds and got it to look like this f this shit.

Before freezing and before dipping them into chocolate!

And then..

To be continued.

Hahhaha I'm too lazy to connect my phone to get the remaining pictures of the final product now heehee.

Anyway, my class tomorrow starts at 1pm!!! You cannot believe how excited I am about that because my Mondays used to be 9am with a test! Big bang on a Monday don't you think? To my head. Hahah.

So although I'm really depressed about school starting tomorrow, it really could be worse! So I'm quite uppity now lolol.

XOXO!

Hiyeee

2011-01-11T06:03:00.003+08:00

My holidays are coming to an end, and that depresses me greatly.

Hahahaha.

So since Panty left me alone for the US T_T, I've been doing a whole lot of.. nothing.

Really just pure blissful nothing. Waking up whatever time I like, watching TV shows the entire day, skyping with people I like, then falling asleep whatever time I like! Repeat!

So anyway, it's been really.. weird.. having so much quiet. I don't get a lot of quiet in my life most of the time. With family and friends like mine.. My world is usually very noisy hahah.

Most of my closer noisier friends are still back home, but I have a lot of crazy classmates still around because my course is an insane course where a lot of people are studying for next semester already! Haaahahaha.

Peace out yo.

I know, I tried quite hard (not really) to look like a lalachick. I even wear boots with this. Next time I should go around petaling street like this, can look like china hooker lolzzz wtf.

Rome 20/12/2010

2011-01-08T10:53:00.003+08:00

So after dedicating a longass post on whining about my journey to get to Rome, let's enjoy the beauty of Rome now shall we!!!

I'm no historical/architectural buff, but Rome was so full of culture and history it was impossible to take it all in awe.

Lemme try to remember all the attractions yah.

Santa Croce in Gerusalemme

Now this, is actually our hotel.

It translates to the Holy Cross in Jerusalem, so you don't need to be a genius to guess it was a church haha. Actually it still is. It's an attraction but they converted the back of this basilica into a hotel called Domus Sessoriana.

I don't know where my boyfriend finds all these hotels, but it's actually pretty decent besides their shitty shitty breakfast. Room is pretty big, everything's clean (my main concern with any hotel is cleanliness really), location is alright and staff are helpful!

This is right outside our hotel.

To be honest I've no idea wtf it is.

We also walk past this everyday to get to the tube station.

The simplest underground system I've seen so far in the UK/EU is by far Rome's! Only two lines which intersects at one place! Although it's not the cleanest or safest, with no creepy homeless men bumping their bodies onto yours, you can get much worse (hint hint Paris hint hint).

San Giovanni in Laterano

One of or the most important church in Rome, even beating good old St Peters in Vatican City, in Pope language anyway, cause it's the cathedral of the pope!

I was really excited that I got to see it (from far wtf), but going in wasn't top on my list cause none of the travel guides that we follow online (which have served us well mind you haha) recommended it hahaha. I've seen enough churches/basilicas/cathedrals and they all start looking the same so unless they're super pretty or interesting or amazing inside, I will take a picture and call it a day!

I know I'm a horrible photographer hahaha. I wanted to show the walls most places are located within but the focus seems to be on this random lady wtf.

Vandalism on the train! Not very Romeish if I must comment ahahah.

Colosseum

Really, nobody goes to Rome without visiting the Colosseum.

So the first thing we did was to walk around it because... it was recommended in the guide wtf.

absolutely

breahtaking.

And a big thank you to the people on the streets, who always seem to be at one when taking tourist photos for me, where the common theme is to cut off the top!! : )

Lemme interrupt you with some examples of what I mean.

Can you guess where this is taken?

No you cannot because you can't see shit besides the 4 of our faces ahhahahahahaha. This is actually outside Maze, one of Gordon Ramsay's restaurants, in which we were very happy to have gone to and wanted a picture of...

Why is there less than half of the London Eye?

Where is the top of my favourite arch!

And this one, this one is for sure the best of the lot.

May I just ask, wtf you taking a picture of??? T_T.

Anyway, back to the Colosseum.

We were hungry so we decided to grab a bite first.

In front of the Colosseum.

I know I know, the food is going to probably be shit. So we weren't expecting anything.

But I really didn't expect the worst carbonara IN MY LIFE. We all know that I can't cook, but I know I'd be able to make better carbonara than this wtf.

My first gelato experience in Italy... Not very impressive...

But at least I've dined in front of the colosseum? *pats myself on the back.

We got audioguides, that bright orange thingie dangling around my neck. I never really needed audioguides hahaha to be honest I just like to prance around, take pictures, look at pretty things and move on wtf.

My boyfriend on the other hand..

...

O.o beats me!! Hahhaha.

Forgive me for the lousy pictures, I have not one artistic bone in my body wtf. To be fair I am a scientist/mathematician ok. Haha but I tried! And you can't really go wrong taking pictures of a place so beautiful already anyway! Teehee.

So the trick is to these tourist pictures, get someone holding a hugeass dslr. If don't have, then get someone around your age. Worst is you get someone like my boyfriend who as absolutely no sense of angles. He can make you look fat and disgusting any time of day! But it'd probably be better than some old lady who looks like she never takes pictures.

There are these people all dressed up as Romans back in the day, who'd charge you to take pictures with them! Sounds quite cool except I always hear them yelling. Paired with that kind of outfit, quite scary lo.

Went one level lower.

This is the picture I take of my boyfriend.

He stands in my place, and take this picture of me 10 seconds later. What happened to the sun darling?

And I don't know what's up with his annoying expressions either!

Case

Point.

I really do have infinite patience for annoyance ^^. Tested and proven.

Arch of Constantine

I have this thing for archs.

I just think they're incredibly pretty! Not the most interesting, but definitely very nice to look at.

So I read there's a good view of it from the colosseum, and I was wondering, how the hell is this a good view?

Can barely see it unless you peek into this opening -_-.

Then Panty found this when we walked a bit further "there, this is the proper view".

Was quite happy with it! (Btw, can you see that my stupid boyfriend didn't even get the whole arch in? What is up with people and forgetting the simple basics of taking a touristy photo!!)

And THEN we found it.

A PROPER proper view of it hahahah.

Before we went down to it.

The polizia car there damn spoiler.

Roman Forum and the Palatine Hill

I think you can spot it somewhere from this picture, but I'm not sure hahaha.

This is actually when it was relatively dark and I didn't use flash. Don't know why it turned out quite bright!

I have absolutely no talent in taking pictures, much less when it's dark.

I'm not a big fan of flash on my camera, it kind of looks shit hahaha so instead I get somebody looking like they just walked through me!

Piazza Venezia

There are way too many piazzas. In fact we didn't plan to see most of the piazzas, which is just a fancy name for squares or something like it haha. We mostly stumble across some, and if it's pretty enough we'd look it up on our phones!

My iphone geek bf downloaded iphone apps that works on GPS, so when you spot something you can check where you are and see what attraction you're at. We basically wander around a lot, and in between two destinations we see way more than we plan to, which is basically why I absolutely love Rome. You walk around, not expecting to discover anything, and you see such pretty things all around!

Which is mainly why I decided to blog about Rome now, and put a heading for each hahaha, because there are a lot of places I wouldn't remember the names of if I blog a few weeks from now hahah. Pictures don't give you names, yo! And I'm surprised I still remember the names now -_-.

It's situated right in front of a huge roundabout/road, so it was super difficult to get a picture of the whole thing T_T.

I love Christmas!!!

I was observing this when I suddenly felt a sharp pang to my stomach.

Touch wood, but I rarely ever get food poisoning related sicknesses (sometimes I even have the slightest hope I do because I always see people losing weight from food poisoning wtf), so it was seriously F MY LIFE when I couldn't stand up straight in the toy store.

So we rushed to the nearest restaurant.

This restaurant which I have no idea what the name is.

And ordered the second worst carbonara of my life, so that I could use the toilet asap.

I mean, all I wanted was to use the toilet, then maybe have decent carbonara in ITALY, but this is maybe even worse than the one at the colosseum. I cannot decide.

And this is their tomato soup. Which tastes like blended tomato and water, which is disgusting.

Overall comments on the restaurant?

...

So lets move on wtf.

Fontana di Trevi

Ahhhh the Trevi Fountain!!!

Arguably one of my favourites in Rome! I know it's overrated and it's not much yadayada, but it's sooooo prettyyyyy!!!!

We stumbled across a sign that said Fontana di Trevi, we didn't actually plan to go to it today, but I'm glad we did!

I look like someone punched me in the left cheek but still, the fountain is so pretty!

There were tons of people offering to take polaroids for us, to which I pulled out my own polaroid and went like I already have one! So they took one for us at the fountain, then INSISTED that we take another of us kissing at the fountain -_-.

Thank you very much Banglas hehehe.

So many gelato places around Rome, all with the same neon ice cream cones.

But none, and I mean none, better than this, with no fancy ice cream cone wtf.

In fact if I were a kid I wouldn't want to buy my ice cream here. It's all covered and boring and silver.

Complete with a man that looks like a chef not a jolly old ice cream man.

Couldn't even try so we tried our luck. And absolutely loved it!!

This is their signature.

I never usually have anything other than chocolate, cookies and cream or occasionally strawberry, and flavours similar to these, but San Crispino got me trying lemon sorbet and meringue and black chips and honey and all sorts of crazy things wtf.

I had gelato at least 3 times a day on all 4 full days we were in Rome, tried more than 10 different places, but nothing beats this! I don't even know why. It just doesn't taste like ordinary gelato. It's smoother richer but it doesn't make you jelak!

Oh never got around to saying that crossing roads in Rome is damn fricking dangerous. Most places to cross have no traffic lights which basically means you just run for your life. I mean if you just stand across the road and never take the plunge, you'd never get across T_T.

Completely forgot what this is called.

I'd have to edit this if I recall haha.

But I remember it's near the Spanish steps.

Oh wells! Hahah.

Missing Asia and my peace signs wtf.

And this is how my boyfriend takes pictures one. Cannot see shit in the background.

Burger King for guess what? Yes correct the toilet! Hahahah.

Spanish Steps

Hahahahah I know. Worst picture in the world.

Barcaccia Fountain, at the Piazza di Spagna (which is the Spanish Steps la just wanna be atas a bit wtf).

We only went at night cause we heard it's pretty at night, but I actually wish I came here in the afternoon. I think fountains (including the Trevi Fountain which I went like 4 times in the dark) would look prettier in the day with clear blueish water instead of this yellowy tinge from the lights. Haha.

I miss wearing sheer tights. It's always more than 10 degrees and mostly sunny in warm warm Rome *swoons. Partly why we wake up everyday in such a superb mood!! Hahaha.

In Canterbury when I wake up and it's 0 degrees and raining, you can be sure I will be damn moody the entire day wtf.

Trying to copy my 'bend for the picture' pose T_T.

Damn a lot of steps can. And I didn't feel like it was very romantic at all. In fact I was panting and so tired by the time I got up I didn't really get the huge hype.

Fake smile. I was out of breath wtf.

Okay la to be fair it can be quite pretty! Haha.

But there were a lot of dodgy people around, didn't even feel safe enough to ask someone to snap a picture of us because they all look very thug wtf. Later run away with my camera, how??? So it was difficult to picture it romantic also. Imagine you chill at the steps there with your lover and somebody come and pok you and take your bag T_T.

We spent like 15 minutes walking up it (exercise), and 10 minutes there admiring the view a bit, and called it a night hahaha.

When you get to the top, there is a very scary alternative to go down. As depicted in the picture.

I think this hotel decorated with so many pretty bows is a bit more interesting actually haha.

Okay that marks the end of my first full day in Rome.

I haven't blogged like this in a loooong time. Quite refreshing actually, this blogging thing haha. Except I probably really cannot do this once school reopens hahahaha.

Nighteys!

My 2010

2011-01-06T10:53:00.001+08:00

How can I start the new year without reflections and resolutions!!!

No I never reflect properly and I've never taken my resolutions seriously, but who cares!!

It's times like these when I like the thought of having a blog. I don't remember jack shit about my 2010, and without my blog or facebook I'd never be able to recap because I have the memory of a goldfish wtf. Except I don't blog that much anymore and I don't post that much on facebook T_T but it's so much better than nothing!

So here goes!

January

Spent new years very quietly with Panty.

And before you know it, it's time for heartbreak round 2 as I sent my love away.

But time and time again my woman's got my back! Lolol.

February

Valentine's Day and CNY without my love.

CNY and my love for mahjong!!! CNY also started the peak of our shot-game-nights.

Shot poker, shot monopoly, shot rockband. You name it we play it with shots wtf.

And how can I forget my Lexy darling turns 2!!!

I'm close to being 3 years of loving this dog, and I have never loved anything more. I disliked animals of any kind before Lexy changed my life. Actually no, I still dislike animals (dogs included), but I love my Lexydarling very very much hahaha, love I never thought I'd have for an animal! She completes me and my days here when I feel lonely is very largely attributed to her. I could be skyping with my loving family and my friends who make me laugh so hard, but nothing beats being able to just hold my darling and lie in bed doing nothing.

Okay anyway I digress.

March

Went to UK for the first time (and now I live here wtf) on a school trip to Lancaster Uni. Never thought I'd be back in the UK so soon.

I'd hate to put this picture because I look fug lolol but it's the only group picture I can find T_T.

Believe it or not this is the trip that made me SOMEWHAT change my perception towards football.

Never really understood the hype, but when I got to this stadium I was squealing like a little girl a little bit. Something about the atmosphere hahaha.

And of course, I got reunited with my love!

Saw a bit of UK/Europe. Paris, London, York, Manchester, Scotland, Lake District!

Sorry Disneyland deserves a picture on its own!!!

Of course we left separately, me back to Malaysia and him to that faraway land, which brings about heartbreak round 3!

April

One of 3 'exercise' I had throughout the year. I CLIMED A FRICKING HILL!!!

Never going to do it again, of course.

And in case you were interested, the other two times were swimming at Fattie's place haha.

Also went to Malacca which I really liked!!!

My BB turns 22 which marks 9 years of knowing her and 6 years of loving her to the max xoxo!

My lips were dry and cracking and swollen here so pls don't judge the thickness of it wtf.

I'll always have your back!

Went to Singapore and its Universal Studios!!!

May

Why is my baby so adorable!

Roadtrip to Genting!

My world was filled with assignments and rockband *blush. Probably the peak of us camping out in fattie's house all the fricking time!

June

Helped one of my best friends throw a surprise party for his wife!!!

I'm usually never the person involved in plannings and surprises wtf because I am horribly organized and supposedly a terrible liar. T_T

And then guess who came back!!!

Went to Singapore again!

This is also when I started having eye problems but was unaware of how serious it could be.

Most of my stoners were back in June *lovelove!

Of course we also did the welcome in 'style'!

I will never get used to not seeing this face everyday.

July

This is the peak of my eye problems. Had 4 ulcers in ONE EYE. Never had I been through so much pain in my life! Couldn't even open my eyes and had to wear shades during my exam so I could keep them half open to complete my paper T_T.

Which forced me to finally replace my broken glasses! I love glasses now!

Thankfully this is also the month I got DONE WITH MY DEGREE!!!

Had a stoner's trip to Genting!

Geney came home with Janey!

And completed the 7s circle!

So we went back up to Genting again haha, this time with more of us than ever I think?

Went to Perhentian with Panty.

And got my diver's license wheeee!!!

I IS OFFISIALLY A DIVAH!

August

Played paintball for the 2nd time in my life, and I have still never ever gotten shot before (and I don't intend to ever have that experience in my life thank you very much)!!

Celebrated my 4 year anniversary with the one boy who makes me happiest.

I let him fly a plane for a while!

Also went to i-city -_-.

Celebrated Merdeka in Genting.

Where Beksy darling came up to watch fireworks as well!

September

Went to Bangkok with the people I love!!! I love Thailand!

Unfortunately this is the only picture with all 4 of us in it, which doesn't even show anything particularly Thai T_T.

Boyfriend's farewell yet again.

Sent my boyfriend back to the US once again and began heartbreak round 4!

The biggest change in September, as everybody knows, is when I stepped into new world called the insanity of a postgrad student. My world crumbled as I fought hard to juggle the lack of love and the build up of work.

Boyfriend couldn't make it in time from US hahahaha so he sent flowers instead.

I love you guys and I love you miss Wong for making me almost cry at the airport!

So I packed up and came to this pretty quaint town called Canterbury.

Unfortunately it was the time when my LDR hit rock bottom. I didn't even want to speak to my boyfriend because I hated it all. I hated LDR and nothing he could do or say will make me happy. When I come home to an empty room with housemates I barely know, I am not me. I am never me. I am just an angry girl that I don't know.

I am so thankful I got out of that phase. Because if anything, my boyfriend makes me happy. And honestly, that's all that matters. I don't stay because it's a waste to throw away a long relationship, I don't stay because I've grown so accustomed to you, I don't stay because you buy me too many fancy gifts and pamper me in every way possible, I don't stay because I think we MAY have a good future.

I stay because you make me unexplainably, stupidly, crazily happy. Even with distance you are the one person that makes me laugh the hardest and love the most.

So thank you for STILL making me happy hahahahah stop making me happy and out the door you go wtf. I really do hope we make it through year 2011 and see the end of LDR together.

I can't deny that LDR is a constant challenge to my life. Even until today I honestly cannot say if we will make it to the end of it. Would I want to? Of course. But I don't know if I can for sure.

Sometimes I feel like if you love each other so much, then you wouldn't be separated in the first place. If I wanted really badly to just be with him, I could very well do my postgrad in the US, in his uni. I didn't even try applying!

But I think there's a line between love and obsession, a line between love and desperation, a line between love and loneliness. I encouraged him for US even though I knew he would have stayed if I asked, and same goes to him with UK. With that said I hope I/we have made the right choice.

WAH OKAY SORRY SEPTEMBER IS SO DEPRESSING. MOVING ON TO A HAPPIER OCTOBER.

October

Of course I got used to my life in the UK.

Skyping with my family warms my heart.

Made my room a little bit more homely too!

Couldn't make it without these two that's for sure!

I learnt how to chop stuff (I'd be ambitious and say cook but we all know that's not true.. yet.. wtf).

Had facepaint on my face, which I actually hate cause I hate the thought of icky things on my face hahaha.

But I did it again when I decided to be scary on Halloween. Truth be told it's my first time in a 'scary' costume wtf.

November

Going to London became a little bit more common.

I'd like to put this as a significant event because I've always regretted not seeing platform 9 3/4 when I was in London in March. I really didn't think it'd look this pathetic when I finally saw it T_T.

God knows why it started snowing in fricking NOVEMBER.

To think I had the impression that since we were at the bottom of UK, it wouldn't be snowing that badly. Turns out southeast has been hit by crazy snows T_T.

Went to Manchester on the day where it snowed like crazy there were no buses running. So this is the first time I dragged a luggage through the snow. Never thought I'd be doing it again but lo and behold I did in December lolol.

December

The happiest I've been since I got here is when my two loves came and visit!

My heart felt somewhat complete, my room was always hot and stuffy! I loved it!

Went to Italy with my love!

Celebrated my birthday, Christmas and new years with the love of my life. I wouldn't ask for any more.

I'm still blogging about my December though and it's already a new year.

I'm sure I missed out a lot of my 2010, parts where I didn't post on my blog or fb haha. But hey overall, I'd say it's a pretty damn good year.

I grew up a lot, learn to live independently, and I survived one full year of LDR!

So here's to a fantastic 2011!

My Rome whinings!

2011-01-04T20:16:00.001+08:00

So I figured I'd finally start blogging about proper things again!

Before I start forgetting the details of my trip to Italy. I already forgot how tiring uploading pictures was wtf.

Panty and I were initially supposed to fly to Amsterdam on the 17th, but hello hello snow storm in London! We have the shittiest luck, so we booked a new flight to our next destination and decided to skip Amsterdam altogether (although I really really really wanted to go le sigh) because the next flight to Amsterdam would be in 2 days, ruining all our plans as we were supposed to be in Amsterdam for only 3 days, then head to Rome.

So, to Rome it is!
This is my boyfriend in case you forget how dashing he is.

Everytime I take a picture of him he tries to pull these ridiculously annoying faces I want to cry. T_T.
This was how it looked like outside, complete fricking snow. I didn't even get to snap any of the really bad parts. But lemme assure you, Kent looked like it was shat on by white things completely, and it was a total dead town.

Our train to Gatwick airport was at 12pm and the train station is less than 10 minutes away by bus/cab.

So at 10 I start calling for a cab. 10 is 2 hours before and there is no check in time on a fricking train, so I thought it was well early (although I know I could have booked the night before wtf). But there were NO AVAILABLE CABS. Called 4 different companies, none had a cab until at least 12.

Phuck this shit, at 1030 we gave up. So we dragged our luggages all the way to the main bus stop which takes about 20 minutes normally, but way longer with the heavy snow and luggage, and got there at 1115, and the bus is meant to be running every 20 minutes.

Waited for a good 20 minutes before we realize no bus is going to come although it says it was going to on the website, so we started walking to the train station at 1145. It would typically take 20 minutes to walk there so we were really pushing our luck.

Fortunately a cab drove past halfway.

We were so relieved.

Unfortunately when the cab was 20 seconds away from the train station, we had to stop right in front of the gates before the station because... our train was departing.

THE MOST EFFING DEPRESSING THING IN THE WORLD.

Since 10. until 12. Miss train anyway.

F. THIS. SHIT.

Our next train was a good hour later, making us just barely in time before our gates closes at the airport. Was contemplating whether to take a cab or not when we calculated again and was pretty sure we could make it. That and the thing I DID book was our train tickets, which were useless because due to the snow storm, nobody needed tickets. There weren't enough staff to even drive the fricking train, much less check your tickets.

But, as you can tell we made it in the end.

Just after a long horrid morning!
More snow!

And I'd just like to announce that.. this is the place my train stopped. Just abruptly. Suddenly. For a good 20 minutes.

My heart dropped when I thought about my flight and how I was going to miss it wtf.

Absolute havoc when we got to Gatwick.

SO many people were stranded I was so afraid we were going to become one of them. Where would I sleep? T_T
This is where I charged my phone *paiseh. No seats around it so I was sitting about 5 feet away and had to watch over it like a hawk. -_-

This is the last picture I took before boarding the plane after our flight got delayed by 2 hours.

SOOO happy to be boarding the plane, I slept almost right away. I woke up 3 hours later and rightfully I should be IN Rome but we were IN GATWICK STILL.
Nonetheless we made it to Rome, only to find NO CABS at the airport because most flights were canceled. So there were about 20-30 of us stranded at the airport with everything closed and no working simcards etc etc.

T_T Luckily there was an Italian in the group who called cabs that came 45 minutes later. And that picture above is how people started rushing to cabs and snatching them politely hahaha.

And that will be the end of my rants about our trip to Rome, because after that Rome was just magical! Hahah.
Finally arrived at our hotel after about 15 hours of traveling later.

We were supposed to arrive in the evening, have a nice dinner and roam around the streets of Rome, but when we arrived at the hotel at about 4am all we did was go to bed T_T and that marks the end of our first day in Rome.
Woke up way early the next day at like 8am? Panty's eyes are still puffy from the lack of sleep haha.
Our little breakfast room.
Can I just say I HATE continental breakfasts with a passion? Hahaha.

Bread/cereal/yogurt and me don't click. I only take ham and chocolatey stuff.
So every morning all I eat are these little nutellas. About 5-10 per morning. The bread and salami in this picture is not mine wtf.

After this 'delightful' breakfast, we went back to bed because there's no way I'm going to enjoy Rome with 3 hours of sleep wtf.

So this has been a really whiny post lololol but it was one of the worst days of my life!

This post is about me and my misery, next post will be me as a tourist teehee! Night peepel.

Lonelyyyy I'm so lonely.

2011-01-03T19:13:00.003+08:00

I didn't think sending you off would bring me so much pain.

I've done it loads of times before. In fact this is the 5th time we part.

Except every time I watch you leave, I had someone to hold my hand, someone to hug, family to come home to, friends to make me laugh so hard. Even my dad would double the times he takes me out for ice cream.

Yesterday I came home to.. nothing.

Well I came home to the food you cooked and refrigerated for me, I came home to the loving messages you left, I came home to watching the series you asked me to, I came home to the little bits and pieces you left me to help me get by for at least the first few days you're not around. But baby can I just say, it's not the same?

Of course this is all my choice, in fact, today all I want to do is just be by myself (~~and wallow in self pity hahahahahah jokingszzz~~) and just chill. Be lonely for a while.

I've never really had the chance to have total peace and quiet, serenity. Never really had the chance to be lonely. I mean I know loneliness can be really depressing and sad, but it also gives you a lot of time to yourself, no? "Me time", where you do whatever the heck you want.

Not that I want to be lonely all the time of course haha. But back at home I'm always with people I love. Always. I literally don't think I spend any more than an hour a day completely by myself. And of that, half an hour is spent in the bathroom. I have my loving parents to talk to all the time, I have my sisters where I talk and laugh with all the time, and when my boyfriend is around I had love all around me all day, and on top of all that, I have the love of my life, my Lexy darling with me all. the. time. Then there are my darlings my stoners my buddies, I'm blessed to always be loved and sayanged.

I know my friends are worried about me being alone. I've never been so alone in my life. Literally if I walked out without texting anyone right now, I could die outside my house and nobody would find me hahahahahah.

But right now I think I want to come back down to earth and just be lonely for a little while. Watch tv shows endlessly. Wake up and sleep whenever I damn well please. So don't worry about me, I'll be fine!

I just had hours of skype fun with my laling and my beks and my entire family. And my housemate cooked dinner in which I'm going down to eat soon, so it's not really quite as lonely as I made it sound haha.

Still, quietest and most alone I've ever been.

Lots of love and lots of updates soon!

Hello 2011

2011-01-01T09:48:00.003+08:00

Happy new year darlings!!!

The last thing I did in 2010 was lie in your arms.
The first thing I did in 2011 was lie in your arms.

Lots of love.

Dear your name here

2010-12-30T08:39:00.002+08:00

Hello from my new laptop!!

I wanna blog proper but I'm way too exhausted now that I've taken my long shower haha. Going to cuddle and then sleep instead! Now I'm just waiting for Panty to be done with his shower. We just came home from Italy and it took us AGES!!! Stupid London transportation zzz.

So why do I have a blog again?

Haha.

For years and years I've had one to pin down whatever random thing I felt like posting just because it's my own little space, but we all know I've never really been a proper blogger. I like posting about my thoughts not about me, if that made any sense haha. But I'm not very bright so my thoughts aren't very interesting and nobody wants to read them, so I end up posting more about me lololol.

Either ways I don't know why people still visit this space, but Imma update loads soon because in 4 days when my boyfriend leaves I will be a very lonely girl in this quiet and eerily cold place I call 'home' now. I have so many things to post about! My darlings are all in their respective homes, making me very very jealous haha.

I had a fantastic holiday though! But nothing beats the warmth of home. Teehee. Blog soon!

Sincerely,
Me.

Snowww

2010-12-09T10:46:00.003+08:00

I can't believe I haven't updated in so long lolol.

Weather here has been really shit! Just really wet and windy and cold. If that's not depressing I don't know what is. After 5pm all I wanna do is curl up in bed and sleep hahah.

Last week it snowed way heavy.

Had one too many snowball fights lol and almost caught a cold!

Update later baibai.

London day trip

2010-11-18T10:07:00.003+08:00

Went to London on Saturday.

Pretty impromptu, I wasn't even sure we were seriously going until the middle of the night before!

We went for.. no reason lol.

I was just mumbling about how I haven't been out of Canterbury since I got here, and the next thing I know with a bit of Chinatown and Oxford street we were both convinced to go! I've done most touristy things with DL before anyway so it wasn't a big deal haha.

Highlight of London, Four Seasons.

My partnuh in crymeee. Woke up at 9am on a Saturday (unacceptable for me!!!), suffered the consequences of looking like hell!

My other highlight of London, to finally see the infamous Platform 9 and 3/4 because I is a Harry Potter geek! I cannot believe I missed it last time.

And what I cannot believe even more, is how freaking pathetic it looked T____T.

At least I finally got to see it. Right.

Zzz.

Nightey!

Pulls hair!!!

2010-11-11T08:25:00.003+08:00

My first real "test" tomorrow! Kan cheong!

My weekly tests are only less than 1% each -_- of course they accumulate up to a 7.5% which is why I worry about not keeping up my perfect score so far, so by the time I get to 80/80 (she takes the top 8 scores out of like, 11 tests) I can screw all following weekly class tests!!!

So anyway tomorrow's test is worth a whole 10% or something.

But I just wanted to show the heart collage I made! Teehee.

Took me about an hour to painfully white-tac it and arrange it in that manner, ok.

This to show the heart.

This is my smug smile.

The other side of my wall now looks like this:

Taken with my iphone's lomo app hahahahaah that's why it's so artistic *flips hair.

I'll post more of my room sooooon! Toodles.

Hello Wednesday

2010-11-10T21:38:00.003+08:00

Ahh my dearly neglected blog.

I have so little time in UK, and I haven't even been out of this tiny little place.

EVERYONE I know here has been to London, or Manchester, or something. London is less than 2 hours away I should have plenty well time to head there. But I'm just tired alllll the time.

Last night I spent 5 hours browsing online because I was so frustrated that I didn't get to buy anything in town when they all started closing. Actually correction I did buy one dress from Topshop, but that's one dress, for a very very stressed out girl!!

Before you know it, it was the middle of the night and I hadn't start studying for my midterm which is tomorrow grr. So I downed a redbull and couldn't sleep until 5am hahaha and missed all my classes this morning hahaha f this shit.

It's getting soooo cold and I'm just not doing so well in this weather. It makes me tired and lazy and sleepy.

Hmpf.

2010-11-08T11:01:00.001+08:00

Hello!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

2010-11-01T09:34:00.003+08:00

LOL. I have no idea what I went as.

I was going to go as a vampire but my fangs were soooo uncomfortable. So my friends just dribbled blood on me and put white face paint on and called it a day wtf. I wore a red dress too. And I was going to put horns on but it was all such a mess! So I think I just went as a zombie in the end -_-.

Now I've gotta get this shit off my face, study for my test at 9 in the morning.

I really don't know why I torture myself like this wtf.

Dum dum de dum

2010-10-30T07:16:00.003+08:00

I'M FRIGGING EXHAUSTED.

It's been the worst week in terms of school ever.

I sleep in every class even though I try not to. Because I cannot afford to! I have way too many assessments due next week.

In the middle of a lecture that incidentally takes up one of the biggest rooms in uni, the cinema, I of course, gracefully fell asleep. Got woken up by the lecturer herself in front of the entire fricking class!!! T_T In fact her exact words were "fallen asleep now have we?". And all I could do was mumble a sorry while everyone giggled. F this shit. To be fair she was really nice though, asking me which part I dozed off at and if I could catch up, which thankfully I proved to her I could by filling up all the blanks right. Le sigh.

I've also been late to all my lectures, nevermind that I skip most of the morning ones already. I wake up at something like 1230pm, arrive at 120pm to a 1pm class, and scramble up the stairs. My classmate told me today "it is ALWAYS you! everytime the door opens halfway through the lecture it's always you".

FML.

Some things don't change, I guess. When I first got here I ate a lot less, I walked a lot more and I went for all my lectures and hardly fell asleep. I'm back to my old self now. I eat the same, I take a 3 minute bus ride to the center of campus (or else I have to walk 15 minutes!!!), and I am the same old horribly disciplined student.

Calling it a WAY early night tonight! Xoxo.

Happy birthday baby!

2010-10-29T11:05:00.006+08:00

Thanks for being my personal chef every time I'm hungry.

For being the person I skype with for hours.

For making me the craziest most heartfelt gifts.

For being Elvis Chong Presley who makes me laugh the hardest.

For being the person I bully most.

For doing the silliest things with me.

For never getting sick of letting me be a baby.

For being my personal room service waitor.

For being the shoulder I lean on.

For always buying me the silliest things at the most random times.

For being my pilot who brings me everywhere I dream of going.

For being the person I share my most precious memories with.

For dressing like me even before we got together.

For making me feel like family, every single day.

For always holding me tight.

For making my world brighter than it has ever been.

For being my crazy warrior who's never given up on us.

For always being there for me.

For loving me even when you're frustrated with me.

For giving me as many chances as I need.

For doing cheesy things like buying us matching T-shirts.

For always making me feel like I'm the best thing ever.

For being my prince who lets me realise my princessy fairytales.

And for loving me through everything. For loving me unconditionally.

When I think relationships I imagine a world filled with boundaries and commitment. Two things I hate being associated with. I think about the burden of having to revolve my future around somebody, and I think about how I need to keep somebody in mind everytime I have my fun so that I never go too far. I think about never crossing the line and making plenty of sacrifices and giving up dreams. I think about how much I should give and how much I should take.

That is the only long term relationship I know.

That is until I met you.

Truth is, 4 years later I still adore spending all my time with you. There's not a day you don't make me a happy girl, and I'm always excited when we talk about our future plans. I don't cross any lines because I don't feel the need to. You taught me a love that is kind, loving and patient, even while I'm being cruel, spiteful and unreasonable. You showed me a world that's filled with love and generosity, where suspecting minds and calculative behaviours do not exist. Your love for me has always been pure, and I'm sorry I have always been the weaker one.

When we got together I didn't even tell my best friend, and I told my friends who found out that we'd last probably a week.

We're going to be 50 months in 2 days now lolol.

I'm not one to believe in fairytales and crazyass romance, and I never thought love could mean so much, but you've changed me more than you know.

I love you more than anything!

You turn 22 today and I wish I could be there with you.

Today, and everyday.

Thanks for being everything to me.

Okay this is in conjunction with the post below. I am emo and sappy today LET ME BE hahahahaha.

Emooo

2010-10-29T10:43:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I wonder what I'm really doing here because I think success is overrated. I've never once think fighting to make a name for myself would benefit me or make me happy in anyway. And I still don't. I just want to be happy. And while that might include having a good career, for the most parts I don't really care what I do. I guess I'm just one of those people where careers don't mean jackshit to me. I don't care if nobody thinks I'm good enough and if I do worse than everyone else. I've never cared. I'm not competitive and I hate when people are with me. I'm not ambitious and I don't strive for the best. I never study for exams not because I think I'm damn smart, but because I really just don't care. Getting good grades was never about being proud of myself but really because it would make my parents so happy. And that's more important to me. My parents being happy, spending time with the people I love, laughing a lot.

Sometimes I know what I'm chasing.

Sometimes I feel like the process is not worth it.

I hate when people feel they need to shake me and make me dream big. I hate when people get frustrated with me and tell me I could be so much more. But the real issue is IF I want to be so much more in the first place? I understand people who wants to be on top, but I'm just not one of them. I have plenty of dreams to satisfy me and I am a happy girl now, and I will always choose to be happy.

Which is why I think what I'm doing right now conflicts so much with who I am.

I don't know why I picked such a difficult course to complete in such a short amount of time. I don't know why I chose to be apart from my family. I don't know why I picked a different country from my boyfriend when I had a choice. I do know this will make me have a brighter future. I do know that if I make it through this course I'd be happier than anything a career in accounting and finance would ever give me. But is it worth it??? I don't know. I can't seem to measure the trade off. I thought it was, and then I think again and I miss home so much I don't know what I'm doing here.

Of course it's not like I want to be a failure who can't support herself. I'm just saying, I've no big dreams for career. I just want to earn money so I can buy myself pretty things. And if I had to work for it, then I will. But at the end of the day, my life revolves around having pretty things, not having a good and fulfilling job.

I'm already here and I know for sure I'd do what I need to in order to complete this. But it's just so hard. I've never done anything close to being as hard as this. SPM and below no need to talk wtf. I was pleasantly surprised at getting 4A's in A-levels, all while sleeping all day and playing all night and feeling like I was always going to fail. My degree was when I was least motivated because I HATED every part of it! I lazed through my years and either skipped or slept in all my lectures and still got my first class honours. Then again lecturers were probably very lenient with me because I was in the first batch. It wasn't even that I'm smart because I'm really not..... you talk to me and you'd feel like I'm an idiot and I could never answer any questions in class T_T. It's just with a little bit of effort you know you can do it and you can bag these things! I've never had to put my whole heart into it and still feel like I might not make it. It's always the case of so lazy, so lazy, but if I study it'll be fine.

BUT NOT WHAT I'M DOING RIGHT NOW.

Right now I feel like I might study 10 times harder than I've ever had, and still fail!!!

I guess I was secretly hoping this to be hard, but not as hard as everyone makes it to be. I don't know how I'm going to do a 3-4 year degree and get all the same exemptions, in 9 months.

It is so hard cause it's just so fast paced. I don't know how to do it. I have 30 hours of class and for a lazy girl like me I come home EXHAUSTED. I eat dinner with my friends everyday and then I come home late and I talk to my boyfriend and my family and then where is time to do my work??? I end at 6pm almost daily (4 days a week!!!)! And bear in mind I also have to buy groceries, do laundry, vacuum my room, hand up assessments, study for tests. MACHEEBET SIAO AH.

Plus I HAVE to have so much prior knowledge. I don't even know where to start. Spend time revising on old stuff, or spend time learning the new things I'm being taught? Without the old things I can't learn the new, and if I don't catch up on the new I'm going to fail everything. Gah. Driving me nuts.

So basically, this is how I'm doing in school right now. It's a lot of rant I knowwww I know I probably won't feel the same way tomorrow morning. So don't judge me and take anything I say seriously ok I'm just depressed and missing home way too much.

My life is generally drama free and care free. I mean, one time when I was 16 and that's enough to last me a long while. I've learnt since then quantity is shit. I'd rather have no friends kthx.

I surround myself only with people I care deeply about. Pick anybody I call friend and they are people I genuinely love. I am never with somebody I don't truly like as a friend. And the moment I feel you less of a friend I stop talking to you altogether. So in return for my harshness I don't have a lot of friends but that doesn't bother me because I have the best friends! My relationship has no mind games and I don't find myself wondering or hoping for something else to happen, I just live it everyday and I love it.

So for most parts of my life I live my days happy and with lots of love, and then I come home to my family who is the most loving, and fall asleep either in my boyfriend's arms or while having long long hours of chats into the night with my sister.

I don't have time to be this sad emo person that I (sometimes) am here. And I am missing that part of my life. I'm not used to this. I'm not used to being emo a lot and being sad about nothing and everything. Which is why I question my decision a lot. But if I look at the bigger picture, these 9 months have nothing on my life. I just slip and need to rant sometimes, I guess.

I guess and I hope that this is a rant only when I am at my low point, which is incidentally now. This week has been hell for me. I'm exhausted EVERY SINGLE DAY. On Tuesday I couldn't get up until 2pm. My mind just wouldn't let me. When I woke up at 2pm I was still drowsy and blur, after skipping 4 lectures. Wednesday again I couldn't wake up for my 9am class. And I'm just effing exhausted. Thursday is my boyfriend's birthday and I cannot even just spend all day with him doing nothing. It's so depressing that we have to be apart. I know it's his birthday and instead of a birthday post I'm now churning out emo crap. I've been so upset the entire day because all I see is him through skype all day. I was tired as hell and went to sleep 2 hours ago but guess what, I'm still awake and still sad.

With that said, I'm actually fine my darlings. I just have a hugeee burden in my heart that I need to lift. And I'm scared I might spend all my time here and end up flunking the whole thing. Of course I know this calls for studying harder and actually listening in class instead of sleeping in all my lectures, but it's not me and it's so hard to change!

And in the case of other things, I'm having a great time here!! My darlings here have been uh mayyy zeeeeng. I can't believe I've found people who are not just friends, but who are people I laugh with so hard and talk with so deep. Many many loves for all the people I've found here.

Daddy still emails me every alternate day or so, and his emails make my mornings!!! Mummy always sounds the most excited on the phone when she calls me. And my two sisters, I cannot ask for more. Panty and I are actually doing a lot better after me and my lowest LDR point in the beginning of my UK. I turned from being all ready to give up on LDR because it's just so effing hard, to finding myself loving this boy more than I ever thought I would. LDR may seem stupid and pointless to me a lot of the time, but nothing means more than you and I.

Blog again in a bit so this emo post will be pushed down LOLOL. Bai!

Webcamwhore

2010-10-27T10:51:00.003+08:00

I've been so exhausted it's not even funny.

Yesterday I went to bed at 6 (yes yes I know it's silly of me) when class is at 9 today. Hahaha clearly I couldn't get up T_T. Plus today it was raining and so fricking cold!!! I only managed to get out of bed at 2pm, after skipping 4 lectures, and then going for the final 2.

Le sigh my life is way too hectic here.

Tomorrow I finish at 1!! Bless Wednesdays, every other day I finish at 6 f this shit psht. So just when I thought I could go and browse some things I like in town lolol. I realise I have shit loads of things to do.

Like an assessment due on Thursday (which I only found out today!!! I know, I'm a model student *blush), grocery shopping (and it's serious grocery shopping not like back home where I just get anything I want, here I have to remember to get things I NEED!!!), laundry (fml), vacuum (double fml), and tidying up my room cause it's soooo messy. Wednesday is my only 'free' day and it looks like shit now. T_T

So anyways happier pictures, webcammm!!

This is Tolaaaa my darling and I.

Can somebody tell me WHY I AM SO PRETTY!!!

This is Tola and somebody even more sepet than me lolololol.

Kay time for bed. It's 4 and class is at 9! Wouldn't wanna be missing more lectures now would we. Hahahaha.

Happy clappy.

2010-10-19T07:31:00.006+08:00

Some much needed UK pictures!

My first UK picture would have to be

This.

Where my two darlings dragged me to a foam party when I was jetlagged and very sleepy the first night I arrived. Lolol. I couldn't even keep my eyes opened for long!

My first meal out on the second day I arrived. Fish and chips, like duh. Jojo and I were camwhoring when some dude offered to help us take a picture.

We were sitting next to a rubbish dump T_T.

Jolene is my lucky starrr. Who cooks me very very homely meals every single day. *sayang.

Spent an entire weekend with my other lucky star Nickey buying bags and bags of 'homely' things. Carrying things around ALL THE TIME sucks!!! Glad that phase is over!

I'll take pictures of my room sooooon!

Everytime I eat Nando's I miss my BB!

And everytime I shop I miss my BB. Everytime I feel like laughing at people falling down I miss my BB. Everytime I feel like talking all night about stupid ass things I miss my BB!

This is Nickey's pillow cover hahahaha it's flowery!!!

Teatimeeee. Atas or not.

Nickey cooked pasta!

Jolene makes curry!!!

The novelty of taking pictures of homely food wore off after like, 3 days. Hahaha but just because I stopped taking pictures it doesn't mean I appreciate it any less mmm. Today we had grilled river cobbler, sweet and sour pork, brussel sprouts (EWWW) and tomato with egg soup! Hee.

Night when we stayed in and played articulate. It's like taboo.

Moment of the night:
"So what's black and white, and like a bear?"

Jolene:
"POLAR BEAR!!!"

And you guys think I'm the bimbo. Psht.

Topshop had a student 20% night. Look at the queue!!!

One of our many many days in town. My best buy has got to be my unirider. I take the bus to class, I take the bus to town many times a week!

My first visitor in Canterbury!!! Lolol.

Took a 'river boat' which is basically a sewer ride T_T.

I think our money went to this guy who painfully rowed us up and down stream!

Quite peaceful though and yes we did go under that bridge haha.

Visited the cathedral!

Well not really we didn't want to pay and get in so we waited until it was 5 and wandered around the outsides!

Reluctant to post this because I look damn short but sigh who's judging me wtf.

Shopping at Asda T_T. For groceries T_T. That we painfully had to carry back to campus T_T.

One of the many themed student nights. This was themed avatar vs smurf. Whichever side you were on, you were supposed to be blue.

Of course I totally forgot and showed up in pink wtf.

Okay I'm tired. Again. Already!

Going to get my boyfriend to tuck me into bed and then be all gungho for class tomorrow morning! Hope I don't wake up late! Night night!

Boo!

2010-10-18T06:49:00.001+08:00

Happy picture to takeaway the darkness of my blog hahahaha.

Many loves from UK.

Gotta go study Contingencies now. Where I learn that men on average have a higher mortality rate than women because they are reckless careless and stupid! Loosely quoted based on my lecturer! Teehee.

UK updateeee

2010-10-14T03:42:00.002+08:00

I'm finally home early today! And class is at 1pm because BOTH my early classes got canceled tomorrow. It's probably going to happen once in forever so I'm going to take time to just give myself some space to breathe tonight.

Was about to go watch Robin Hood with the bunch but then I wonder what is it that makes me want to keep busy all the time? I was never like that at home. I guess cause I had things to come home to. I love my parents, my sisters are my best friends, and Lexy. Lexy makes every season to go home.

Here I come 'home' to an empty room. I come home to a kitchen where a couple rolls cigarettes and a creepy dude who talks to me in only his towel all the time. It's quiet and it's not home.

I'm constantly surrounded by new people and I have new friends all the time. Omfg. Me. New friends. I don't particularly like mingling and I don't really fancy meeting new people. But here I think I take comfort in that. I mean I'm not suddenly your social butterfly, but I'd say okay when you ask me for lunch, I am up for hot chocolate anytime, I would walk with you to the bank, I'd watch movies I've already watched with you, I listen to you tell me your favourite books.

That being said, the people I meet here are amazing! I'd hate to make this entry sound like I'm not having a good time and that I am only friends with them because I want to avoid feeling homesick. It's weird that I left my comfort zone back home and came here with nothing, but I found my place so quickly. I have a lot to be thankful for. I love my darlings Jojo and Nickey!

UK's been awesome so far. If only I could have a bit more of home.

Lol okay major depressing max. I'm going to post happy pictures next! Need to get a card reader grrr.

Monavoonying Smile

2010-10-05T07:55:00.002+08:00

DAMN UGLY!!!

So I'm settling down into a whole new environment, where I walk, where I have bad luck all the time with EVERYTHING like nothing goes right at all, where I eat very little, where I snack a lot, where I start drinking juice and milk (chocolate) more, where I am made to grow up a little, where I bought a lot of household items and groceries (mostly pink where I can get them), where I am learning to cook.

But at least some things stay the same.

<3

Update from UK!

2010-10-03T06:50:00.004+08:00

Hello blog!

I miss home so much, so I'll attempt to blog as often as possible once I've fully settled in.

It's my 4th night here tonight, and it's finally my first night sleeping in my own room! Lolol I know, it's embarrassing I don't even know who my housemates are. The other day I came home just to take a dress and had trouble with opening my door, and my housemate opened the door and asked, "yes may I help you? who are you looking for?" wtf and I just mumbled "uh I live here thanks for helping with the door" wtf T_T. And half an hour ago I just saw him come out of the shower teehee.

See the thing is my darling Jojo has been taking such good care of me it's embarrassing! Psht. She insisted I sleep over cause I didn't have anything in my room i.e. duvet/pillow/cooked food. So instead I slept in her room with her and have her cook food for me in her house.

Sigh coming to UK alone I feel like a major phail in life (tonight only hopefully tomorrow the feeling will fade wtf).

So I've never cleaned/washed/pack anything myself, and I can't cook, and I'm horrible with directions and I am clumsy as ever. These things I know of myself even before I came, except I didn't expect to feel it so bad.

Yesterday I walked 2 hours in the rain. An hour because I had to run errands, and another hour because I got lost. It was the first time I walked alone in the campus and I was utterly and totally lost. It was raining so heavily there was no one in the streets on campus and I was basically walking around alone aimlessly until I met a stranger who told me where it was and offered his umbrella T_T. But I didn't take it cause depressed already rain seems good wtf MY LIFE SUCKS.

Tonight Nickey walked me home after our Malaysian partayzzz which sucked hahaha. 5 minutes away from my house I insisted I knew my way and that I will be absolutely fine, and we should both run in diff directions home because it was raining so heavily!!! His house was 15 minutes away from where we separated, my house was 5 minutes, and I SWEAR I know the way.

Took me fucking 30 minutes to get back because I just had no effing idea where I was??!?! Everything looks the same and all I had to do was walk straight, turn left, why couldn't I do it??? Had to be guided on the phone to my doorstep.

Just when I thought my troubles were over I could not open my damn door. I have no idea why the key just won't work. I saw my neighbour's light was on so I tapped on the window and he came and help me do it in 3 seconds.

Finally came into my room and instead of feeling like home sweet home I just felt like such a failure. It's horrible!!! I cannot feel more homesick than this!!!

Plus my Jojo is in London right now, and before she left she asked if I wanted her to make some food like fried rice or pasta *sigh sayang her max and put it in the fridge so I could just heat it up over the weekend when she's not around to cook for me. Of course I insisted no and that I'd be fine! Then today Nickey asked if I would like to have dinner together because I can't cook so he will. F this can't cook thing Imma cook the ass out of myself this week when I get my groceries tomorrow!!

Okay it's 2am and I'm sleeepyyy. Waking up early to go to town again wheeee!

Sorry this is so whiny lolol but that's me I haven't changed, see? Hahahahah love you guys and I miss you all sooooo much you have no idea.

But I'm sorry to say that the one I miss most is not my family, not my boyfriend, not my bb, not all my darlings and loves, but my Lexychoo : (.

Sigh. She's the only one that doesn't call me text me skype me twitter me fb me.

And my heart breaks a bit everyday.

DL's farewell at Redbox

2010-09-24T04:11:00.002+08:00

I was going to blog about my 4 year anniversary, but I realise that at 4am on an emo night like this, I am only going to miss my boyfriend like crazy T_T.

So instead, I'm going to post frivolous pictures of my boyfriend's sort of farewell at redbox, because Junie was chasing my ass for pictures and I've already posted them on facebook hahaha, plus they're such happy pictures!! : D

My baby who's leaving wuwuwu.

This is me trying hard to smile when I was sad hahahaha.

I miss you everyday babyboooo and I wish you were here!

Junie babe! Both of us came in heart prints haha.

Shanny my woman!

Why so unhappy laaa hahaha.

I love you la woman : ).

Fei fei!!!

"If ever anything happens between any of us (choi), you will still be my close friend!!!"

For surely!

Although clearly you care more about singing than anything else lor hahahahaha.

We is so coolz.

Ezraaaa.

Who was major emoe that night! And who also kept reminding me about how I used to make fun of him during tuition last time lolol. I was young and naive!!! Hahahah no la I'm exactly the same now. Given the same situation, I'll still make fun lor!! HEHE.

Who also tried to kiss my boyfriend wtf!!!

So wrong.

SO SO WRONG!!!

Okay better! Except my body looks funky hahaha.

Tummie whom I care about dearlyyy. Don't go breaking too many hearts okay.

Even though you're from Kampar and shiz, you're still one of my best friends cause I don't judge lolololol.

And I'll always be hereeee.

Hanney who is my rock!!! Thanks for everything, you mean soooo much to me, and my boyfriend hahahah we share share you okay?

I know we're ALLLL going to be leaving you, but you're never alone cause I am in your heart HAHAHAHA. And maybe if my visa doesn't get through in time and I decide not to go, then at least we'd have us okay? Take care of yourself big boiiii.

Okay you know what? I'm going to stop this emo shit hahaha I intended for this to be a really happy post ok.

You guys were just my boyfriend's friends 4 years ago. But heck you guys are my closest friends now and I love each of you to the maximusss!!! Stoners ftw! Okay now I'm just going to spam happy pictures and call it a night! Sleepy max! Some pictures have super cool effects so appreciate them ok hahahha.

I HAVE NO EFFING IDEA. Not my boyfriend T_T.

Group picha!! So blurry hahaha.

Also blurry!

And then I leave you with..

THE COOLEST PICTURE IN THE WORLD CAN???

It came out like this IN MY CAMERA. I cannot get over it hahahah.

Night loves!

Emo nemo

2010-09-24T03:42:00.001+08:00

Gawwdd. I've been so incredibly busy.

I never really have time for myself as it is, but these couple of weeks have been absolutely hell on my body. My skin is dry, I keep having little sicknesses here and there, like for a week my cough was on/off, I had fever for 2 days, then flue, meh! And I also have 3 pimples now.

I've been busy trying to rush important things that are uni/visa-related. Things like my medical check up and blood test and vaccination and such, and then things like trying to get my visa through asap, keeping in touch with my agent so I can fly off as soon as possible, filling up my completion form so I can get a refund for my deposit in school, and even more shit I don't remember!!!

Do until I feel like I'm gonna pao, seriously.

And then there's packing. No okay I lied. I just started just now lolol. But packing is tough! I hate it enough when I'm going on holidays, what more now I'm leaving for a year AND my boyfriend is not here? He's captain neat and tidy (although he's also captain forgetful), so he keeps my packing in place most of the time.

And lastly there are all these 'farewells'. Farewells in inverted commas because I technically have no idea when I'm leaving. So I feel stupid having farewells cause hey, I totally may only leave 2 weeks from now. But I might also totally leave in 5 days, so I guess farewells then.

Leaving is hard..

I mean, I've always thought of myself as a relatively solitary person. I don't have very many friends, although the ones I do have are amazing, and I enjoy doing things by myself, although I really haven't had the time to. Last time I read a book? No idea. Last time I sat at home the entire day and watch tv series by myself? No idea. Max I squeeze in 2 episodes in the middle of the night. Last time I baked by myself? No idea. Last time I did stupid things like scrapbooking and arranging pictures into a photo album? No idea. Last time I played an online game for hours just for kicks? NO IDEA.

But I love doing these things. Just saying.

Anyway, let's face it, I'm definitely not the friendliest person around, and I don't want to be because it's tiring!!! I cannot be a friend to a lot of people, I just don't have the strength, the patience, the kindness to. There are people who are meant to be social butterflies, those that get along with everyone and have a ton of friends, and I genuinely like people like these! I'm not some sadass that hates friendly people lolol. I'm just.. not that girl.

I don't really give two hoots about meeting new people, but if I do come across people I like of course I'm extremely happy! And so my friends are, rest assured, people I absolutely love and like being around. I do not have dinners with acquaintances, I do not yumcha with people I just meet, I do not enjoy reunions with big groups of people I've never been close to, I'm just not that type!!! I may be neutral towards most people I know, but I'm definitely not going to say hi and pretend to care how you're doing, because.. I just don't really give a shit.

I am also really not the type who tries to be nice to everybody, and then secretly don't really like you. If I don't really like you.. you probably know. Which sometimes make me come across as some self righteous bitch, I know hahahhaha. Because if I don't like it, I don't like it and I will move on in life.

I am definitely not the nicest friend : (. My friends are INCREDIBLY thoughtful and sweet, and sometimes I feel like I'm a total shit friend cause it doesn't cross my mind to do these super nice things! But if it did cross my mind I would totally love doing nice things for my friends!!!

So if you're my friend, please know that I really do love you max!!! I may not have a lot of kind, sweet gestures, but I always have your best interest in my heart, I promise!!!

And now I'm getting damn emo leaving my family and all my friends.

Ok I'm totally going to upload some happy pictures right.. now.. Hahahah.

2010-09-19T17:24:00.002+08:00

This is in attempt to make my blog less emo lolol.

Us at Ecoba. Except from now on I'd be riding solo..

HHAHAHAHAH kiddingzzz. Early day tomorrow, and way too lazy to sort out my pictures! Sooo many errands to run!

Long distance woes

2010-09-19T04:03:00.000+08:00

It feels like the first time again, only worse, if possible. See the first time I didn't really know what to expect. I was just really sad but I thought if we loved each other enough, we'd pull through. The second time we were both in UK boarding different flights home, I barely had time to be ultra emo with him while running around hoping I don't miss my flight. Before you know it we've already left each other.

But this time, this time I know exactly how it goes.

I know how love sometimes just isn't enough. Because you could totally love this person and totally be mad at him for not being here when you need him, just because. It's nobody's fault, if anything it's distance's fault. But if we were to fault somebody, we'd fault him because duh nobody faults me lolololol.

My boyfriend takes the blow again and again. Because I sometimes skip being sad he's not around, and instead I go straight to being angry he's not with me. Sometimes I'm afraid he'd one day wake up and care less about me whining about the same damn thing. But until that day, I hope I shower him with enough love on my non-angry days hahahah.

Besides, if he gets angry at me even after all the pain I'm going through, then what kind of a boyfriend is that!!! Heehee.

This time he's been around for 3 months, where I go back to the place where I love him the most. Times when we're doing everything and nothing together. Times when we could spend an entire day doing nothing significant, nothing cool, nothing happening, and be totally indescribably happy. To just be happy laughing and spending time with each other.

And now he's supposed to just leave. Again.

I know, I know. I'm leaving too!

It's just me, missing him being with me, every single day and everywhere I go. My boyfriend's my best friend. I tell him everything and nothing, and even if I lie he reads through me almost right away. Sometimes I pull off a white lie for half a day and that excites me till no end. The problem about this is that with distance it's just not possible for him to read my every action, unless I want him to.

Someone who's there for me every moment of my life, and when I get sad or angry I don't even have to say much and he's there. He always is. Problem with LDR is I always have to spell it out. Tell him what happened because he wasn't there.

Ah well. It's life isn't it? Distance or not he's still the first person I'd run to, and he's there for me more than anyone could possibly ever be. Without judgment, without fail.

It's 4am now and it's been 10 hours since you've left me. I'm just feeling really empty babe.

More than anything, I wish you were here.

Lol the stupid bright side that you taught me to look at is that we get 2 monthliversaries a month, across a time span of 36 hours because of the time difference -_-. Means I get to be more extra pampered every month wtf. But really babe that's the suckiest bright side hahaha.

But hey, see you in about 15 hours on sms during your transit, then 18 hours when you're finally home on skype, and 3 months time in flesh.

XOXO Imma go sleep.

UK visa

2010-09-16T17:01:00.000+08:00

Hallozzz.

It's been such a hectic week!!

Mostly because I needed to sort my school stuff out, partly because I'm sick, but most importantly because my love is leaving in 3 days now..

And what can I say except.. it breaks my heart. T_T

So it's back to ldr again, but to be honest it's REALLY not the same ldr. If everything goes as planned, in 2 weeks I'd be off to a new place, with new people, new experiences, new everything. New everything without my boyfriend.

Something I haven't done in the last 4 years.

What about the last year apart, you ask? Wtfwtf. I mean we spent 7 out of 12 months apart, and I'm pretty sure in those 7 months I didn't do anything remotely close to this. I'm going to sound all dramalama but it scares me! Moving to a new place by myself, without my mommy and daddy?! And what if I get mad at him? Who's going to bring me out for ice cream and hugs!

Sigh, sap story for another day.

On a brighter note I already met this girl from my future uni that I think we're getting along with just fine! A lot like me, possibly a lot friendlier though, hahah. Pretty excited to see how things goes. Now if only my visa will come soon!!!

Visa day tested my patience to the max. 9 hours. NINE FUCKING HOURS. I've never waited longer in my life. It was totally not worth the wait too, their procedures were stupid, their system sucks, the people working there were so slow I genuinely wondered if they were mentally ill or something, so you know what, fuck this visa place, fuck you and your slowass people and your sucky system. 2 people to attend to 100 over people, x3 different procedures. DUMB. ASS. Hopefully I'd never have to go back because I'd rather shoot myself in the head ok.

Okay now that that's off my chest, my next post will be chirpier I promise hahahah baibai!

Homeee

2010-09-09T02:25:00.001+08:00

I'm homeee!

I thought I was going to come home to nice relaxing dailies, like all night stupidities or having lunches with lots of laughs, or doing absolutely nothing. Amazing what good company does. I could go days and days surviving on it alone.

Anyway, second day of Bangkok, which was major awesome by the way, I changed my mind I loveeee all of Bangkok! I mean I used to just love the shopping, and that most things are cheap, but this time I love everything!!! The shopping the food the nights the massages!!! LOVE LOVE LOVE.

Okay back to my story wtf Bangkok for another post. On the second day of my trip, I received my official offer letter. I mean I know I got accepted weeks ago, I've just been waiting for my offer letter to come, and it finally did. Shit me and my need to go check my mail for fun.

Couldn't exactly do anything about it cause I needed to go collect my official transcript personally from school, which I could only do on Monday, which I did, and then I signed and returned my reply, blablabla.

Next thing you know I'm on my way to applying for my visa soon.

Anyway, random iphone pictures time!

This is Lexy when Kakak is cleaning the room, digging into the comforter.

Rolling around.

Climbing on top.

If she is not super kacau, I don't even know what she is!

Made cupcakes the other day! Almost entirely by myself!

This is for my mommy haha. I decorated it and gave it to her and she was all "eh you sure it's for me, not for Voon Ying?"

Psht please ma. My life doesn't revolve around my boyfriend hmpf, although I made an identical one for him haha.

This is how my boyfriend uses the laptop on my bed.

Auntie Chong!

Boyfriend's dad went to China, and lugged this back all the way for me hahaha.

It's a huge panda that has an I love you heart on it lololol. I don't really like soft toys, but it's super cuddly!!!

Watched fireworks in Genting, where Beks and Stevie coincidentally came up to watch them too!

So we camwhored in my hotel room hahahahah please don't kill me Beks.

See this application on iphone called Kitty Camera or something automatically detects things to decorate your picture with.

Everyone I've taken a picture of end up with some funky headgear, except for me, I have no idea why! It's an autodetection thing!

See!!! Never adjust properly the hat though hahaha.

See!!!

And then this is mine! Haha.

Weird. Stevie says it's cause my hair already looks like a hat. F this shit hahahahaha.

Okay gotta go sleep relatively early, gonna have an early day tomorrow!

Bla bla bla

2010-09-01T01:17:00.001+08:00

Jonny is a bit sick! I have no idea why but all apple stuff in the house currently refuses to connect to the wireless internet?

Weird cause both dell laptops work, but my Jon doesn't, my iphone, sister's iphone, sister's ipod touch ALL DO NOT HAVE WIFI?!

Sigh I'm too lazy (and stupid wtf) to figure it out, so I can't upload pictures cause using a PC sucks to the max.

I'm sorry I mean if you ask me to pick between an iphone and a bb, I will say both are good phones, I don't mind using either (but prefer an iphone). But if you ask me to choose between a MAC and a PC, MAC FOR THE WIN MUCH?!

I absolutely despise using PCs, over 10 years of using it and 2 years of MAC later, I don't know don't care how to use a PC efficiently. I take ages doing whatever I want to do, simple things like transferring pictures or separating them into folders.

Anyway, I'm off to Bangkok tomorrow so I thought I'd do a filler post.

Regarding the post below, contrary to popular belief WTF I am not going to the US, instead I'm heading towards the UK. It breaks my heart to choose the UK over the US, but I will soon write it all out if I really am going. Still pending still pending!!

Visa and everything is a bitch, mommy was going to personally chop my ass off if I didn't complete my errands before I left!

So on Monday I was supposed to go to Genting in the afternoon. In the morning I overslept wtf, and only woke up until my no.1 boyfriend called me up, made sure I was well packed, picked me up, sent me to do my various errands at various locations, all while my eyes were half closed in the car. What do I do without you baby?

Have no ass, that's what wtf.

It was our anniversary too! I had the best time in the world, despite being all errand-y. Haha.

We just came home from Genting a few hours ago, and tomorrow morning we're flying off again! Maybe we can find time to go to a spa tomorrow, my body needs some rest!

Toodles!

Oh ya I almost totally forgot it's merdeka. Not going to pretend to be patriotic, I like my country but it's impossible for me to love it with all it's biasness. I don't mind if things are bad, but if things are unfair, I HATE IT. Applies not only to countries hahahah but to my relationships with people too!

Teehee.

Baibai.

30-08-10

2010-08-30T03:23:00.001+08:00

Horrible picture of me 4 years ago, when you still had braces!

I don't know what love really is.

And I think that nobody knows your love like you do. Nobody feels the warmth and fuzziness that comes from your lover's embrace. Nobody gets butterflies in their stomach when their soulmate says things that tugs at their heartstrings. Nobody knows how annoyed you can get at the smallest thing that goes wrong. Nobody from the outside knows the real shit that goes on inside your relationship.

So I don't know.

I don't know what goes on in your relationship, and what love feels like to you.

But the love I know is spending almost every waking moment with you, and still never feeling like it's ever enough. Love is knowing every stupid thing about you, and still wanting to discover every other part of you.

Love is being able to let you go temporarily, to do the things we need to do in life, believing that at the end of the day, you'd be with me for a long time and more to come. Love is the only reason I'd ever consider LDR.

Happy 4th anniversary baby!

You're the most loving, you're the most annoying. You're the most romantic, you're the most disgusting. You have infinite patience for my tantrums, but you test my patience the most. I'm stubborn all the time, but when you're occasionally difficult you drive me up the wall.

But through and through, you're definitely the best thing that has ever happened to me. 4 years later you're still the best boyfriend in the world, and I'd never want to have it any other way.

I love you baby!

I think I'm going to Boston

2010-08-28T03:13:00.003+08:00

It's been a crazy month, this August.

It's been a month filled with decisions, more decisions, applications, getting accepted, and a lot of love. Oh, and maybe quite a bit of mahjong too hahah.

My life after graduation took a huge turn, and right now I'm heading this direction I never thought I would go.

It actually pretty official now, I'm most likely leaving, but I hate jinxing things so talk about it when I'm sure I'm going, mmkay!

Fatty goes to Zouk WTF

2010-08-23T14:26:00.004+08:00

Gene came back for the weekend the other week.

I've been thinking of calling it quits on this weekly Friday/Saturday crazies, because I'm old and I need to retire from this hahaha.

Ok actually to be completely honest on my blog, I am now fat.

Fat to the point I feel uncomfortable and to the point dressing up is a lot less fun. That's the best part of a night out right? To see if your make up looks good and to find a nice dress to wear.

No. I've worn this dress more than 3 times, because a lot of other things cannot fit me well. F MY LIFE. I am a teensy bit grateful I still fit into all my clothes, nothing I can't zip up or pull up YET, but they all look so fugly on me!!! My tummy bulges, my arms over flow, I look like mrs hulk, I don't know!!!

Ok but anyway, posting pictures of the night cause I've been editing the lighting and I think it looks nicer/brighter! I've recently learned more canggih photoshop things like liquify and clone stamp, except I don't see it on my photoshop?! T_T better find it soon because I foresee in 2 weeks I will desperately need photoshop on my pictures. Right now thankfully I still survive deleting fat pictures and sifting out the fatter ones wuwuwu.

Make up check in the car hahaha usually won't post these photos but lookie Geney's face at the back! So pat poh!!!

Muh boys + our driver *heart*.

HAHAHAHA ok no + my boyfriend.

Shanny Wongggz!

TC feifei!

With Ezra the queen of cauliflower.

Jagerbombs!

Are loveeee. I hate b52 woman hahaha. Makes me wanna puke right away!

Check out my sexy eye. Always like this. Sien.

Why my friends sooo adorable *pinches cheeks.

Champagne cause we atas like that.

Something going on there Ezra and Fei?

Hanney love!

Who dat at the back?

Take one.

Take two. Clearly I didn't get the memo that we were supposed to look like death!

Finally saw Bell babe again!

Guy on the left again? Wtf haha.

Epitome of 'qweet'.

So by this time.

And by this time.

I wasn't doing very well -_-.

Thankiew Gigi and Kaykay for the many shots of greensss. I wasn't even coherent enough to take a picture with youz guyz.

Tried to take a picha for the boys. Fail 1.

Fail 2!!!

My favourite girl and her favourite boy hahaha.

BB love!

More jagers?!

Love you babe!

Mind boggle

2010-08-22T05:10:00.002+08:00

So these days I've been busy (in the day time wtf).

Doing a lot of shit that will potentially totally change the course of my next year in life.

I feel like it's weird I'm still hesitating, I'm supposed to already charge at it at full force. Oh well. Guess it's never been me to like making life-altering decisions. Although life-altering is a bit dramatic hahaha.

But still.

6am. Time to sleeeeep. Think more tomorrow.

Picking Hairbear up!

2010-08-16T18:39:00.004+08:00

So about a month ago Hairbear came home from the UK!

I don't know who came up with the randomest shit in the world, to wear pajamas to the airport to pick our UK darling up.

But we all did it - together. Hahahah.

I dunno why Shanny and I both have this act cute expression hahahaha but do you see how red my eye was!!! Hahah.

There, better!

Fei Fei with that sexy opening.

Miss Krang hiding behind sunnies.

Hanney who is our champion in pout!

Me too freaking embarrassed.

My boyfriend pajamas supplier. Call 1800-888-PJs.

Looking for the other October baby.

More random shit - Christmas hats?!

Found our superstar!!!

Reunited and it feels so good.

You three are damn sexy lor.

2010-08-12T06:20:00.003+08:00

There is this thing about me and 7ams.

Where I stare into blank space and think about the saddest things, just because.

I don't know why it happens, I know tomorrow I'd wake up fine, but when it's a quiet lonely 7am, and only at a time like this, I feel like my whole world is crashing down on me.

I think about my future, I think about my obligations, I think about my flaws, I think about how messy my room is, I think about how many things I've lost, I think about how broke I am, and on a week like this I think about what my results would be. But no matter what week or what day it is, I think of you.

I think of you and I wonder what life would be if you never left me here in this world alone. It's an emptiness no amount of anything could truly cure.
I try hard and I try always, to deal with losing almost my entire life.
But the truth is, I haven't been the same since, and I don't know if I'll ever.

Open Water Diver License

2010-08-09T15:22:00.003+08:00

It's only been a week, so the novelty hasn't worn off yet, so..

I AM OFFICIALLY AN OPEN WATER DIVER!!!

Went to Perhentian to complete my open water diver license, which we started even back here at a pool.

My second time to Kelantan, I think! First was when I said I've never been to Kelantan before, and we all drove up to the borders, had shitty food somewhere around said border, and then drove back T_T.

This time around we made it to the airport haha, shared a cab with a Parisian couple to the Kuala Besut jetty where we met the rest who drove 6.5 hours O.O.

We booked our flights ages ago, and got check in luggage even though it was kind of super unnecessary for a trip to the beach like this! Haha. So we made the best out of it and got relatively big bags.

When Jenny and Hari saw us they were all "wtf you all flying straight to the states after this is it?" T_T.

Crossing the blue blue waters from the jetty to Perhentian Besar.

Never really get why people always ask me, "Perhentian Besar or Kecil?" whenever I say I'm going, but they're really two totally different islands so I kind of get it now haha. According to the people there Kecil is a lot more for backpackers and such, Besar is mostly big groups/families.

About half an hour on the fastest boat I've EVER been on, we finally reached Perhentian Besar and checked into Flora Bay, as stated on the towels that depict how shitty the place was hahahaha.

But it wasn't so bad lah! Most chalets look the same, some a lot worse T_T. Decent place, decently maintained.

Had lunch at the restaurant, which we dined at for every meal for 3 days throughout our course haha.

My deep fried squid rings.

This place actually serves decent food. Haven't tried anything absolutely gross. Everything's either mamadei or pretty good!

And what I've learned from my meals at 4 (I think?) different restaurants around Perhentian Besar, is that the chicken they get seem to have no legs!!! Because no matter what chicken I eat (chicken chop, curry chicken, fried chicken, steamed chicken, grilled chicken).. they are ALL BREAST MEAT!!!

Pui. I hate breast meat. And how can chicken chop be breast meat? Or a whole huge bowl of curry have only breast meat? Angers.

So anyway, for about 2-3 days, we did the exact same thing. Dive until the evening. By the time we shower it's about as dark as so!

Then we'd have dinner together.

And then have theory lessons in the night T_T. With tests. Psht.

This is my dive instructor using the Hello Kitty pen my BB gave me hahah.

And then we rummy till the late night!!! We taught Sahal, our Saudi Arabian friend to play and then we had 4 kakies. Hahaha. And Sahal is not even as slow as Tummie!!!

And 3 days later..

WHO ISSA DIVER!!!

Ok so this is damn unglam, but it's only temporary, will be getting my official card soon!

No pictures throughout our dives when we could've had awesomeness pictures with Jenny's megachun camera. First few dives I didn't ask for one because we were still so uncoordinated and basically spent all our time doing skills like taking off the mask underwater, throwing our regulator away, having our air supply cut off, yadayada, so unglam.

Our later dives we spent a lot of time just swimming around to master our buoyancy, perfect for pictures but Jenny didn't go for the same dives!!! T_T SIEN.

Anyway, we only took a couple of days to finish our course, but Panty and I booked a total of 6 days 5 nights. So for the rest of the days.. we did a load of NOTHING. Major bliss.

Even caught the last few minutes of a pretty rainbow. By the time I took out my camera it was almost all gone.

Ooh what a nice foreground -_-.

Sooooo amazingly beautiful.

Aih. The things I do for diving. Look at the amount of plasters on my feet!!! Plus one on each ankle, I had a total of 8 plasters stuck on!!! We had new fins and they gave me blisters hmpf.

I love and hate doing this. Hahaha.

It feels sooo good to dip your feet in when it's so hot, but after you take it out it feels so icky!!!

Plenty of boats. Dive boats/water taxies. These water taxies damn expensive lor. To get to the other side of Perhentian Besar, where you can spot turtles, it's rm20 per person per way from this side of the island, and then rm25 per person per way to come back. Wtf.

We actually (yes we means I included wtf) hiked a whole 20 minutes across the island!!!

Soooo totally worth it. Our instructor left us his fins and masks so we didn't have to rent it hahah, so we brought it on our hike all the way to Perhentian Island Resort, where people say you can see turtles!

I taught chicken shit DL to swim without a life jacket in the sea! Hahah. Whiny was all "omg baby what if I drown, even if you could swim you wouldn't be able to save me cause you're so weak" wtf. I'm a horrible swimmer but swimming in the ocean is easy as long as there's no current!

Within like 5 minutes of swimming away from the shore we suddenly spotted hugeee turtles right under us!!! Totally unexpected, I got super shocked and choked on disgusting sea water and turned back and swam wtf. But later on I gathered the courage to skin dive and touched the turtle's shell!!!

DL actually has a underwater casing we can use for my camera when we go snorkelling (not diving cause it goes up to like 10m only) but we totally forgot about it. Could have totally captured my heroic moment!

Spent a lot of time walking on the beach, and before my friends jump into conclusions and say I sure whine cause it's so hot to walk on the beach blablabla, we did it mostly in the evenings when I am usually pleasant and lovely to be around wtf.

This place is about a whole 15 minute walk from our chalet, but it's where we see a lot of people at all the time! It's where Bayu/Alu-alu is, or something.

Also spent a lot of time just lying down and watching the beach.

My love!

Had dinner at Surface Interval Bistro cause we got sick of food at our place. This place serves pretty decent food for island standards! Haha.

Sizzling smoke annoying the annoyer.

But the problem about this place was, the food takes AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGES to arrive. We were sitting there for almost 2 hours!!! No wonder so many people la.

We were the minority though.. haha.

Everywhere you look there issa guai lou!! Hahah.

My barbeque. Only the squid was decent, but we whacked everything so quick because by the time it arrived we were starved T_T.

Ordered deep fried squid rings they gave us tempura squid, which basically means 1/4 squid, 3/4 vegetables like cauliflower, onions and brocolli in flour batter. Yuck.

We transferred rooms to one that's right opposite the beach! And this is DL going all philosophical about the beach.

Right at our door step!

Which is an amazing feeling to wake up to! Demonstrated as such wtf.

This is me opening my chicken, which turned out to also be breast meat f this shit.

More walks on the beach. I love it when I just shower and my hair's not icky from sea water and you're walking along the beach and the wind blows your hair!

Swap clean tangle-free hair with icky tangled hair in the situation above, major cranky. Everytime after a dive my hair is a huge mess and we walk 10 minutes along the beach back to our rooms, and the feeling is damn different. I love dives, but I hate before and after dives!

Lookie what my boyfriend found!

A bottle full of dead cockroaches. The closest he'd possibly get to cockroaches -_-.

This is what I found!

Kids building pretty unique things in the sand? Haha I always just built sand castles with a moat. Because without a moat it would be incomplete wtf.

Found a spot, sat down, take pictures wtf.

What I brought with me!

Playing games on my neglected DSlite, while DL sits next to me playing games on his iPhone, long conversations, loud laughs. Perfect afternoon.

Visited Kecil before we left.

On an insanely hot day no less. I was melting my ass off!!! Tis my saviour on such a day haha.

Was pretty much the same, except a lot more backpacking tourists around. We even saw somebody setting up a tent to sleep in in the middle of the beach! O.o

Going homeee. How big our luggages really were haha.

Deep blue sea.

Which marks the end of a much loved holiday away.

2010-08-09T04:30:00.001+08:00

Today's been a majorrr tiring day.

Best thing to come home to: Lexy darling.

Xoxo.

Singapore in June 2010

2010-08-04T16:05:00.005+08:00

So I've been told my blog's pretty incoherent. Which is really like myself. I'm terribly uncoordinated. I guess I'm not so much of a blogger at all. I've just had a blog for a really long time. Like 8 years type of long. And it's a place where I always get to come to, to type whatever I please.

Today I'm going to talk about my little trip down to Singapore with my baby!

I'm going to miss this. Blogging in the middle of the day on my bed with my two babies around. Abso love!

*GASP*.

Our trip was actually pretty impromptu. DL's dad was going over for work, and had free stay so he asked us to fly over. I was hesitating because of my finals. But psht, equal distractions here and there lor, I'd say! Haha.

This purple luggage is actually 90% filled with books and papers for study purposes. Like I was going overseas for my usual study camp. But we will soon find out how that turned out wtf.

Connecting rooms at Hotel Michael in Sentosa Island.

DL's parents room, although connected to ours, was more than 2 times bigger, with a huge bathtub and a living room and everything! I swear I took many pictures for comparison, but my pictures always mysteriously disappear as I transfer them. Maybe it's still in my camera, but I hate looking through again so there there just imagine haha.

But our room was two huge extra cozy beds, with like a million drawers -_-. They have stacks and stacks of drawers, I have no idea what for! If I sorted all my things and put them into their drawers I probably would have forgotten 234239843294 things!

Casino!

Where we spent a lot of time.. eating.. It's cheap and it's decent. Hahah. We didn't gamble a single cent! Because we had very very scarce funds hahaha.

So instead we walked around the area. Concept's kinda like Genting I guess? Everything's interconnected.

Please don't ask me why my boyfriend's face is liddis. I also dunno.

The next day we wanted to go to Universal Studios.

Which is 3 minutes from the hotel, so appropriate! The last time I went to Universal Studios Singapore I sweat until I wanted to cry, and then we later had to drive for hours before reaching our hotel to shower. I was so disgusted with myself wtf. Speaking of which I haven't even blogged about the last Singapore trip which was major fun with lots of colourful pictures! I'll do that after this hahaha.

Okay that's all of Universal you're going to see in this post hahahaha.

Every effing day that we were there (which was like what.. 6?), tickets were sold out!!! There were a lot of Indian tourists everywhere around Sentosa, so I'm guessing a bit of India came and overpopulated Sentosa Island T_T.

So instead we walked around and took touristy photos T_T.

It's also wise to take note now that throughout this trip was the PEAK of my issues with my eye. It was so fucking painful the entire trip, and I was so careless about things. I kept thinking, "what's the worst that can happen if I continue to wear my contacts?" (since I didn't have glasses), A LOT OF TERRIBLE THINGS, that's what.

Some days I'd wake up with it hurting a bit, sometimes hurting a lot, and my eyes would be bloodshot, or sometimes I couldn't even open them. : (.

And I've also gotten very fat. Evidence as above.

Sigh. This is the worst I've felt in a very long time. Fat, eye cannot open, sweaty. Triple whammy!

We got passes to the durian fest for Resorts World in the evening.

Blah blah blah.

I'm not a big fan of durians. But I had plenty cause I was starving wtf.

At night we went to Clarke Quay!

This Clinic place is super cool. There's a drink where you drink from a drip!! Hahah. And you sit in wheelchairs! If only it wasn't so packed the night we went.

We got to watch fireworks though! Totally unexpected haha.

Had our late dinner at this place called Fremantle cause it was one of the least packed places wtf.

The beer I couldn't even finish 1/4 of.

Because oh I forgot to mention!!! Besides dealing with finals and my stupid eye, I also had high fever and flu during the trip. F my life.

The next day we went to Underwater World! I really wanted to go cause they had pink dolphins!

The place is pink themed because of it haha. And the place is also really shitty and rundown and badly maintained so it kinda sucked. But still, pink dolphins!!!

PINK DOLPHINS!!!

Ok so it doesn't look very pink. They're more pink underneath, and if I remember correctly they get pinker as they age.

I haz a professional picture touching a dolphin toooooo except I dunno where it is. Later I find. Baby I will find!

My new boyfriend the underfed kid.

Jellyfishes are my favourite thing to watch in any aquarium. I just loveee the way they swim and I can watch them for ages!!!

But they're what I HATE the most in the ocean. Jellyfishes are probably the worst thing to see when you're diving. They'd totally sting you lor I think. On the surface also they kacau, takkan under the sea they leave you alone right???

I've seen my fair share of sharks in the ocean and none have scared me as much as a jellyfish does!!!

So we watched our dolphin show like this..

Under the blazing sun, and hardly as lucky as those people with cloths? See what I mean about a LOT of Indian tourists! India got holiday kah?

We decided we'd have no more of that for the seal show, so we went to the Dolphin Suite!

Which is this little restaurant directly above the pool.

Where you can watch your shows like this! At a charge of something like $10 per person, which you can exchange for drinks and such, not so bad!

Went to the beach at night!

Haha ok no this is just Hard Rock Hotel.

Watched the fountain show, which is possibly the stupidest water fountain story I've ever heard -_-.

We spent sooo much time roaming around Sentosa aimlessly.

Because a, I didn't want to do anything that would take up too much time, so I could go back to my notes to study. And b, we were always busy with something DL's parents wanted us to do with them, like many many many casino meals haha.

Turns out I never got to flip much of my notes anyway cause since we were always around the hotel we always did things with DL's parents. And the other half of the time my eye hurt like a bitch T_T. ULCERS, IN MY EYE.

We went to Chinatown the next day with a family friend.

We went to a temple and I guess I looked like a slut, so I had to cover up hahahahaha.

Oh haiz!

I wore this red scarvey thing the entire time, totally forgetting that I had my cute pink cardigan in my bag lor.

Dunno if you can read, but this story is a teensy creepy : (.

More roaming around the hotel area.

The manager told us it's like $1 million per statue of this fat version of Adam and Eve. Siao.

I secretly snuck a picture during one of the meals we had in the casino.

It's too cute! Two sets of chopsticks per person, one gold one silver!

The next day.. I don't even know what day I'm talking about, 4th I suppose?

You can't miss this at Orchard! Ice cream in a bread/biscuit. Everyone lines up for it. I've never tried it and don't think I'd ever like it haha. Mainly cause I don't like bread, and the biscuit doesn't look very nice. Haha.

Anyway we spent the entire day at Orchard, where DL's dad suddenly have this burst of energy to shop non-stop, we were marching from mall to mall with hardly ever a break. Even my legs hurt and I was super sleepy by the end of the day.

We called it an early night, bought popcorn and played the ipad the entire night.

The ipad is major fun. Iphone games are hardly the same when played on the ipad!

This is us, heading downstairs for supper.

This is my boyfriend, being a total disgusting pig.

The next day we went to Orchard by ourselves, DL insisted because he felt bad I walked the entire day and didn't get to shop for my own things *sayang my disgusting pig. I remember my eyes hurt and I didn't really wanna go. But then I remembered this!!!

That I HAD TO HAVE.

I absolutely love Cold Rock, thanks to Geney and Janey!!

My usual cookies and cream + brownies + strawberries!

I remember telling DL I really wanted to try two things, Hard Rock because I didn't get to the last time I came, and TCC.

Hahahaha both were kinda.. not up to what we expected wtf.

I also swear I have pictures of our dinner at Hard Rock, where we witnessed like 3 birthdays in the 45 minutes we were there, but I can't find them! Weird.

Their highly raved shrooms bite were probably the best thing they had. Other than that the mains we tried were pretty bad, mediocre at best! Maybe we ordered the wrong things, but it was so painful for me to swallow every bite of mine T_T. It was one of the worst meals I've had in a looong time.

This is DL with a sarcastic smile of how good the stuff was. Haih.

Had to have another round of Cold Rock before we left, SOOO GOOOD.

Also don't seem to have any pictures of the last day.. So this shall be an abrupt end to the post!

I can't wait for dinner I'm sooo hungry max.

Late nights

2010-08-02T03:52:00.003+08:00

This morning I woke up in Kota Bahru at 945am. I looked at my reflection in the mirror and called DL over, telling him how upset I was that my eyebags were still so awful even though I've been sleeping and waking up insanely early!

We're talking about sleeping at 12-1am, and getting up at 8-9am ok. Perfect 8 hour sleep!

He looked at me like I was crazy and went, "Baby you had a healthy sleeping cycle for 5 days, do you really think it makes up for your years and years of having such bad sleeping habits???"

T_T

I guess that's true. I'm destined to have horrid eye bags and dark circles : (.

I'm really not a big fan of sleep.

Especially when I'm alone. It's these nights. These nights that are mine, and only mine, and these nights that I appreciate. I adore the quietness and the calmness that comes along with late late nights. Sometimes I think I'm a lot of a loner.

Falling asleep in love is easy. I talk and laugh until I am sleepy, and I continue to be amazed at how many little things I can learn and want to know about a person, and then I get wrapped with all the warmth in the world until I drift away to sleep. Either way, best feeling to fall asleep with and it's these times where I actually embrace sleep.

Right now it's 4am and I've had such a long day.

Kissed DL goodnight and sent him off at 230am, to which I yawned and said I was sleepy and will be going to bed soon. I ended up putting him to bed on the phone at 3am, and I am still here.

Doing absolutely nothing but enjoying the serenity the night brings.

Those will be the best memories

2010-07-27T02:54:00.004+08:00

I am incredibly exhausted.

From 3 hours of dive training T_T fts.

My card readerS died on me. All 3 of them. Actually one is missing, one I broke, and the other one just suddenly won't work.

I want to transfer my pictures : (. But I am too lazy to do things like use my sister's or boyfriend's laptop, and then transfer the pictures via my missing usb thing, or maybe my harddrive. So effing mafan! I'll buy a new card reader soon haha, maybe I should buy like 10 cause they're so bloody easily spoiled!

Anyway, I is a major exciteszzz!!111

This is almost a year ago at the Great Barrier Reef.

Unfortunately I cannot find any decent pictures of us doing anything related to diving... Except this. Us on a dive boat. I think we have a burnt CD of digital pictures of us diving.. somewhere.. with me or with DL, THAT is the question wtf.

In 6 hours I'll be leaving for Perhentian! I've never been there I hope it's not as tough to live there as everyone has been warning me T_T.

Butttt. Diving is aaaamazing. 3 days of unforgettable experiences, and then DL and I are gonna have some muchhh wanted relaxation time at the beach for a couple more days before we come back.

Ok gonna pack now. I DESPISE packing.

UK Trip Part 3

2010-07-23T07:03:00.000+08:00

More UK blogging because it's 7am and I.. can't.. sleep T_T.

This is probably already day.. 10 or so of my trip to UK.

We got to pick the cities we wanted to go to (out of a tiny list) before we arrived in the UK. It was pretty democratic, Manchester was one of the more popular choices so here we are!

Train time.. again.. I love these tables. The four of us got addicted to monopoly cards. We played it all the time in trains and in our dorms haha.

And we're hereeee!

Met Cassie darling's friend who was nice enough to bring us around Manchester.

First thing we did was hop on a bus!

And arrived at none other than the Manchester United stadium!

My hand is always in my pockets and I'm never standing straight cause it's soooo windy all the time. Pui.

Decided to go for the tour.

Initially I was really hesitant because come on, everyone knows I'm completely uninterested in anything sporty -_-, especially football!

But zomg it's actually not so bad. Haha.

Can you spot mehhh!

We were taking pictures of everything -_- thanks Sie for ruining my picha of I don't even know who.

Out in the major green field!

Aww I am a convert hahahaha.

Saw a lot of stupid historical things.

Player's locker room.

Ooooh a dirty jersayyy.

Place the players run out woowoo.

Teehee.

Okay finally done!

Time for foooood.

Had dim sum yum!!!

Did a little bit of sight seeing, and a bit more of shopping. That's Ling with the many paper bags from Primark in the back to the left of the picture!

Bye Manchester! I'd like to see you again soon!

York

2010-07-21T16:08:00.002+08:00

Suddenly missing UK, so here's a bit of UK blogging.

I never really blog my trips because there's always a whole ton of pictures and it's so sien uploading 5 by 5 blogger style. But I like travel pictures. They're always so happy clappy.

So Imma try dragging them in from facebook.

This is Tua Pui and Suannie in the train with matching couple sweaters hahahaha SOOOO ADORABLE.

We had to switch trains at Leeds, but we missed it and took the next one like an hour later.

Got to see a teensy bit of Leeds from the train station hahah.

And we finally arrive at our destination, York! Where we had to drag our luggages, as such wtf.

It's a quaint little town which is super pretty! I later found out it's also super haunted fml. At least I didn't know then and there. Or I wouldn't be as normal and un-paranoid.

Me and my roomieee Cassie!

Appletiser, which became my favourite drink soon enough!

The kaki botols had ale. Not me I'm a horrid drinker hahahah.

This is only 3 months ago and I already look kind of different. I think. Fatter, maybe wtf.

The next morning we decided to tour the whole town.

The entire place looks like this!! Plus points for looking so old and pretty and castley, I could watch the place all day!

We got the York Pass which allows us on like.. most things! I know I'm very clever to take a picture of the York Pass without actually showing.. the York Pass -_-.

So first up, York Minster!

It's some really old gothic cathedral, apparently the largest in.. I don't know. UK probably? Hahah.

I know this picture is tiny but I have this feeling I will look damn chat gross up close.

Ya moving on.

The whole place was pretty much like this. Very repetitive after a while wtf cause it was hugeee and I have a nonexistent attention span.

Passed Little Betty's Cafe along the way! Possibly the most famous cafe in York. This is the little one.

This is the big one.

You can't see in the picture but there's a freaking long line just to get in there!

It sells cute and pretty food like cupcakes and scones but I show very little appreciation for dainty girly food : (. I much prefer steaks and lamb chop yumyum which maybe explains my size but sigh, getting over it.

We didn't have time to queue, and it was expensive anyway!

Next we went to the Shambles, which I've heard so much about!

No need to pay one lah wtf it's a tiny street that looks like something out of Harry Potter!

Uhh.. apparently the only picture I have of the Shambles.

Haha. It's filled with all these tiny little stores, with crooked walls that looks like it's falling over. Major cool!

Then we went to some Jorvik viking place, apparently a very important part of York's history.

Us with some viking looking man.

The Pass also allows us to go into the York Dungeon.

Damn creepy lah.

Clifford's Tower.

The tower looks damn short in the picture, but it's totally deceiving lor. Had to climb up so many flight of stairs to reach the top T_T.

York's buildings are super short, so a tiny hill with a tiny tower already equals a perfect view of the entire place!

York Castle Museum after that.

We did a LOT of walking and a LOT of seeing old stuff!

I'm not a true blue fan of seeing old stuff. Most museums actually bore me hahaha.

I could take 3 pictures of the place and call it a day!

Spent more time taking pictures of myself.

To the point where people called me vain : ( but not the vainEST!!! Tua Pui here wins!

And I can't believe this shot got almost 5 of us in there. I didn't even notice haha.

The 3 of us blazed through the museum while the rest were reading every description hahah, or something like it.

Clearly a fake horse.

But when DL saw this picture he was totally shocked and went all "OMFG BABY WHEN DID YOU GET SO BRAVE".

Expression, priceless.

This museum is a major win because they had a retro section!!!

So pretty!!

Ok that concludes our York Pass.

Went up Mickegate bar to camwhore a little bit. The whole town is surrounded by these bar walls that you could just go up to!

FINALLY had dinner. I was starved!!! These people hardly eat one ok! They could go all day without whining about being hungry.

And at night we went for some spooky ghost walk.

Luckily we picked the stupid comedic one. Apparently the other one tells real creepy shit to freak you out.

This guy is funny and dumb!

It was so freaking windy that night. My face looks so stretched T_T.

The next morning we went to the National Railway Museum.

As you can read it's the largest railway museum in the world, and possibly the most boring!!!

Totally filled with trains and trains and more trains.

PUI.

Oooh what is that spooky thing in the train.

Most interesting part of the museum is making nameplates!

Haha happy already wtf.

Had lunch and went shopping, and then we wrapped up the trip and went back home.

Bye York I don't think I'll see you again since you're so haunted hahahaha.

Or maybe I will.

And we'll be

2010-07-18T04:29:00.000+08:00

Holidayyy!!!

Is bliss. *dreamy sigh.

Of course the last few day has been filled with post exam errands -_-. Bringing Lexy to the vet, checking up on my eye, getting our diving stuff sorted out (which has since been SHIT because of my stupid eye ulcers), helping Ma do silly things like finding a new wallpaper for her handphone wtf.

And catching up on family time. I've been missing out so much.

Normally I'd squeeze everything I wanna do before the next semester starts. So this is a reallyyyy foreign feeling where I have nothing to squeeze because my holiday time, as of now, is infinite!!!

Not for long lah, I know. Soon I'll have to decide my life. But gimme a few weeks of rest first, ok? And my holiday will last a couple of months, at least hahah. I is gon bumzzz. And screw people who tell me I will soooo get bored.

Never once have I complained I'm bored zomgzomgzomg nothing to do. Never.

Not because my life is exciting and damn a lot of things to do haha. But simply because I know better!!! I know better than to NOT appreciate my holidays properly. Because even the worst day of a holiday is better than an average day at school/work wtf.

Plus I'm comfortable with quiet time.

I can bum all day and be abso happy!

Yesterday I woke up wayyy late at 2pm after a night of redboxing and nasi lemak babi, spent the afternoon doing abso stupid shit! Like reading make up reviews, watching xiaxue's videos, browsing forever21 T_T.

Had dinner and drinks with my ex-colleagues, can you imagine. Me, ex-colleagues hahahahah from the hell that is called EY in BSC. I've no idea why my seniors liked me, I was a horrid intern who lazes through every single task I was given.

Speaking of which, I will overcome before I enter the working world hahaha. Which is why I need months, ok. Not easy to change how I've been living the last 22 years of my life!

Anyway, later on DL picked me for a long night and morning of MJ, all the way until 11am!!! Insane! Ma wasn't too happy I didn't inform her, but I didn't get into any shit because I pulled the whole "oh come on I JUST went through exams ma" card, to which she felt all bad and went "ya but I just don't want you jeopardizing your health" *big hug.

So I slept in all the way until 5pm, woke up with a big gastric bang, chewed on gaviscon tablets and felt much better for dinner!

Of course then after dinner I was puking my guts out T_T f this shit. I think it's cause we had BKT. I don't like BKT so I opted to eat like, only half a plate of rice. Whole day, a plate of rice, equals hellow gastric.

We were supposed to head over to velvet/phuture tonight.. But le sigh. I'm sorry guys!

Wah I am such a good blabber. Lost my card reader (think it's in DL's house, but not sure!) so here are random light headed ding dongs from my phone!

This was taken on my last day of school, I think! Hahaha.

Triple kill picture.

China sleeping in the background, Sie running away, Fattie WATCHING AHEM*. So obscene, I swear!!

I LOVEDDD Despicable Me!

I'm normally not a big fan of cartoons, but this was super funny/adorable/silly!

DL got me uhm my very own minion. To replace him in running errands for me when he's not around! Hahahaha you wish lah. A papercard minion can't do jack shit! Except it'd be a lot quieter.. peaceful-er..

In glasses. Haven't seen myself in a proper one in aaages! Ah, the way I torture my eyes wtf.

I'm not sure if that's a speck on my right lens when I took that picture, or what.

My hello kitty parachute game. I play it all the time before I sleep. But I'm just really bad at it.

Ze and Gigi are both way better and they're played like, 5 times? T_T.

One of the many stupid things my boyfriend buys me hahah.

But if it's pink and pretty I love it! And if it's not pink and pretty I'd appreciate it wtf hahahaha.

This is how Lexy ALWAYS plays with her toys.

Pisses me off!!! She will slowly and purposely shove the toy so it'd fall onto the floor, and look at me with her big brown eyes and expect me to pick it up!

SCREW YOU LEXY CHOO. Who do you think you are! Princess of the world ah! Nothing better to do than to pick your stupid toys off the floor is it.

But I always do it T_T because she'd keep staring. Oh well I guess this is how you play fetch with a fat dog.

Excitezzz about diving!!!

Though everything's put on hold until at least this Thursday when I go for my hopefully final check up! I feel totally fine already!

The day we picked Hairbear and Michelle up from the airport.

Everybody, in pajamas!!!

Tied Lexy's hair the other day. It was getting long! Haha.

Groomers, soon!

My two babies.

Pink dolphins at underwater world!

The place was so rundown and badly maintained!!!

Otw to Singapore.

Look how lightly we packed!

Hahaha jokes I am a horrible packer. Can't be expected to pack light AND quick at the same time. That's just filled with a textbook and my cardigan and shiz.

We shared a much bigger luggage wtf.

Will maybe blog proper about stuff from my camera! If I don't get lazy.

Heart

2010-07-14T18:21:00.001+08:00

Got a call from the vet to remind me to bring Lexy for her annual vaccination jab.

Her 3rd now.

It's been more than 2 years since I've got her! Time passes wayyy too fast. I still remember being deathly afraid of dogs, and now I love one more than ever.

Lexy at about 4 months.

Lexy at about 2 years 4 months.

Not a lot of change. It seems like my baby's always gonna be a baby.

<3

It's your birthday

2010-07-13T05:47:00.001+08:00

I AM OFFICIALLY DONE WITH EXAMS!!!

Hopefully in a month's time, I will be able to announce, in this same space, how I am officially done with my degree!!!

I would have felt pretty safe, well within the bounds of graduating, until I took the hell that is called advanced taxation (paired with an equally tough lecturer /poo T_T).

Putting that behind me now!

Listening to old school songs like TBS now with DL, at 6 in the morning, talking about anything, talking about everything. It's been a while since my mind has been so at peace. Uploading pictures and blogging, bliss!

Now to brighten my major dull and whiny blog up with pictures!

Just before our exams started, we decided to throw the little girl of the class a tiny surprise lunch!

My partner in crime in school, Fattie!

Sie who's out of our league hahahahaha.

Chinaaa.

And DL.

And our lala birthday boy, Sluttie!

Lolol jokes la jokes I like to do that too wtf.

Plan was majorly simple but it worked out because Sluttie assumed we were too geeky to bother with his birthday!

I brought my notes along and here is my highlighter! Haha.

I don't know why I do it. I guess it's more of an assurance.

A week before every finals you see me with my notes EVERYWHERE. Dinners, holidays, MJ nights, car rides..

Barely cover anything most of the time, but at least I feel nice!

But anyway, how could his loving ex not do anything on his birthday???

And current bf, for that matter.

Hahaha ok since it's his birthday I will stop with all the femininity and gay jokes. We'll just let the pictures do the talking.

(Sie needed some help because he wasn't tall enough to reach Sluttie's mouth).

So.. I dunno la. You tell me!!!

All smiles!!!

What we really feel!

Sie who's been in ALL my classes for 5 years now.

How time flies!!!

Except he's always better and all lecturers like him more. -_- Unfair.

All the Cinas.

Melayu.

And all of us!!!

Okay it's late. Gonna go try and sleep! Although I feel like I just woke up hahaha.

Bye bye beautiful

2010-07-11T14:35:00.002+08:00

Eye, please heal fast.

What's the point in anticipating all my coming free time (in less than 24 hours now) without coloured contacts and elaborate eye make up?

And of course I am thinking about this at a time like this.

Still majorly tired.

MJ until 7, dimsum on the winners (not me and DL), crashing at 8, and waking up at 1. This is not the life I ordered!!! Hahahahahah.

Serves me right for never bothering to know about my advanced tax subject. I never knew it was more of a tax PLUS LAW paper.

X_X

GG.

This little town

2010-07-10T04:59:00.005+08:00

My pain tolerance on a normal day is already very low.

Every time I cut myself or I fall or I bruise, my natural reaction will be to burst into tears wtf. But I am 21 so I can no longer do that, so instead I hold it in and bite my lip, or pinch the person next to me, depending.

2 days ago, I found out I had corneal ulcers. Never even freaking knew I could have ulcers on my eye. And IT HURTS SO BAD.

Why the hell now am I put through this test???

It hurts to even fucking open my eye. Every time I look at sunlight I want to die. At night it's bearable but permanently stinging. I haven't teared this much in years!!!

Right now I have to alternate between 2 different eye drops every half an hour. Which is super super frequent. Had to do it 3 times during toy story just now :/. Plus have been given a lot of painkillers. Which makes me drowsy as hell. So tomorrow onwards I'm NOT gonna be taking my painkillers. Le sigh.

Tax is on Monday and what do I have to say about tax, tax. No midterms this semester, which only means.. I have absolutely zero knowledge on tax. No reason to study for it yet, you see.

Today I finally could open my eye enough to finish one batch of slides, which I thought covers one out of 12 chapters, but it is technically 1/3 of chapter 2. Which technically means I covered 1/3 of a chapter, out of 12 chapters of tax.

Not kidding when I say I have zero knowledge. In this entire semester I haven't attended one full class, not even revision, because tax is at freaking 830, which is imfreakingpossible to attend!!! I've probably went for 2 hours of tax in total. So knowledge equals zero, nada. If tax is tomorrow I will damn well fail.

F F F F F this shit.

Thankfully, tax is not tomorrow wtf. I have been graced with 2 days to cover 12 chapters of tax, and then tutorials. Hello hello scared scared bye!

Monday night Imma do whatever I please. Who cares about a stinging eye. Pffttt.

Did you bring all your friends?

2010-07-03T01:07:00.002+08:00

In the midst of exam stress.

How I wish I could be doing this tonight instead! Hahahah.

Xoxo.

Turn around

2010-07-02T01:18:00.004+08:00

Panic attack right about now because I have no clue. About anything that's going on in my notes.

Just reading, quickly.

And then I realise I DO say this every semester. I don't know anything until maybe 5 days before my exam. I don't bother knowing crap until I absolutely need to.

I did the same this semester, but somehow I feel worse. Like I actually.. cared less. If that was even possible.

But then what makes me get it???

What makes me be able to skip my classes or sleep through the entire class and never read a lecture or attempt a tutorial and never write any notes and then miraculously be this girl apparently on her way to first class honours?

What makes me this girl?

Am I smart? Do I know things? Am I able to grasp things fast?

I'm really not. I'm freaking dumb and I don't get things all the time and I have zero general knowledge. And I know for a fact that there is not one ounce of me that gives out a vibe that I'm smart. I'm plainly just kinda lucky in exams, way more than I deserve for the amount of knowledge I bring into an exam hall. That and I have short term photographic memory so if I study the morning of an exam I remember everything exactly as is.

So will I really be able to do the same thing this semester, be lucky again and pull of the same kind of results, and graduate with a big bang and a big smile?

I'm fucking worried I totally screw up. Like I fail a subject and have to retake an entire semester or something. Cause it's freaking totally possible for me to go from top to rock bottom. And this time I can't just wing it and be like 'even if I do badly I'll just study harder next semester' because THERE IS NO NEXT SEMESTER.

...

K typed that just before I had a major breakdown and burst into tears in the arms of DL.

Been down the entireeee evening.

Feeling much better now.

And reverting back to my normal self. Cheh do badly do badly la. Not to say cannot continue living right? Teehee.