It's been a while since I thought about blogging, but I think I feel this need to come back to this little place every once in a while.

I've been beyond stressed out this week.

Panty came over last week to fill my life with more love than ever. It's nice to be able to care for each other in the same place. Distance has been my enemy for a long time now and it will be until the very end of it. It's the reason why I don't actually feel like I am in a normal relationship. Not until I can say I've survived my ldr, because at this point, who knows what will happen since we are apart?

It's not that I'm horrendously pessimistic or anything like it. I think I've just learnt to live life day by day.

Panty is amazing to me. He has been for the last 5 years of my life. He has been and is the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I thank my lucky stars I found him in my life.

And 5 years is a long time. But if he does something that made me gravely upset? Do I stick around because it's been 5 years? Most likely not. I never understood complicated relationships or ones where you sacrifice your life because you 'love somebody'.

My goodness. If your boyfriend is a flirt and it makes you unhappy, leave him. If your boyfriend texts other girls behind your back and you find out, leave him. If your boyfriend scolds you everytime he's stressed out, leave him. If your boyfriend controls your life to the point you're unhappy, leave him. Bottom line is, if you're unhappy more than you're happy, LEAVE babes.

Unless you're 40 years old and married with 3 kids, what do you have to lose in your twenties?

There are just too many shit things happening around me these days, and I just want to shake all these people up and say that life will go on. It always will!!

Anyway, I digress.

It was a really last minute decision to attend the career fair in London last weekend. Of course I was a dunggu that printed only ONE proper resume, the other 3 had mistakes lolol. I don't know when I want to start working or what I want to be when I do start working, so I dropped my CV at only two places.

I dropped my proper one at a consulting firm I thought was interesting to join. And I dropped one with a mistake at a bank only because it was a really high paying job.

I was gravely unprepared for both interviews. Mainly cause I wasn't even sure if I really wanted either job, and it's quite difficult to fake passion. On the way to my interviews on the train alone, I spent 90% of the time on my ipad playing plants vs zombies, the other 10% on my phone checking twitter and fb.

I didn't even have proper working clothes on. I couldn't stress enough how insanely underdressed I was to both interviews, only because in banks and huge firms everybody was dressed to the dot. Blazers and ties with a laptop bag, pumps and knee length skirts. There I was prancing around in my short skirt and pink coat -_-.

Strange about job interviews, I read online you are always supposed to be very serious and relate everything to something proud you have. But as I'm a horrible liar I went through my interviews like.. a bimbo.

I took too long to think of something smart/exaggerated that I just thought, aih might as well talk about something I know like "shopping/favourite actor/diving/pink" than something really clever that I don't know about. At the end of it I thought, fuckkk this is all stupid shit.

And at the end of it I breezed through both interviews. Besides this one hiccup with the senior asking me about banking and I froze O.O What is investment banking? My answer was uhhhh something different from retail banking *shifty eyes*. Still got the banking job though. How? I have no fricking idea.

Today I went for dinner with a potential future employer, and the 'most lasting impression' I left was all of them picturing me on a four wheeled bike T_T. Just because I couldn't ride a bicycle wtf.

Sigh. Anyway. I have 5 assessments due next week.

FIVE.

How many have I started? Nada.

Say hello to little sleep and many stress.

Bye babes!